JakeGeneBarnes

JakeGeneBarnes's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Jake Barnes
  • Location: Tartarus, Hades
  • Member Since: November 22nd, 2010
  • Last Seen: November 23rd, 2010 12:33 am
  • Personal tag line: Dayum, BEASTMASTER, you laying down some track or what?
  • Message board posts: 6

About JakeGeneBarnes

Conceived in the bowels of Hades itself, I am the wretched spawn of Kim Il Sung and Satan (and no, I am not Kim Jong Il... I am his lesser known, non-dictator brother).

Shortly after Kim Il Sung gave birth to me (don't ask for details, please) I was promptly abandoned in the center of a Gypsy camp.

I spent my formative years in this camp, wearing purple, having outlandish weddings, and learning the secrets of becoming a "Wanderlust King."

Skip ahead a few years and...

Voila!

...I am writing this bio.

BTW, feel free to check out my Facebook account!

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION!!! Yay!!!

www.facebook.com/jakegenebarnes

...also... ahem... there's my Huppages account:

http://hubpages.com/profile/Jake+Gene+Barnes

Articles

No articles found.

Columns

No columns found.

Videos

No videos found.

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!