If you wish to participate in my losing-team-must-be-sacrificed-to-the-gods jai-alai tournament (now with extra bears), write a letter to me with the following in mind:

-It should be written on medium-heavy rice paper.
-NO SEMICOLONS!
-If you own an Underwood Five typewriter, use it.
-I demand a blood sample.

Once you have completed the letter, walk down to the corner of Fifth and Seventeenth Street. DO NOT TAKE THE BUS. Give the letter to the hobo known as Spaceman Wilkie (the one shouting about astrophysics). After doing this, buy a ham sandwich from the nearest cafe, burn it and offer the ashes to the Aztec god of your choice. Do not return to your house for three hours afterwards. You will receive a reply in two to four weeks time.

I wish you good luck.

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