IEatTheZombies

IEatTheZombies's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Melty Tuna 2.0
  • Location: I OWN A PLANET.
  • Member Since: July 28th, 2010
  • Last Seen: July 24th, 2014 8:42 am
  • Personal tag line: Fuck the police! But always remember to use a condom.
  • Message board posts: 0

About IEatTheZombies

To be honest, the whole Melty Tuna thing is still a code name. If I ever tell you my real name, the Bees will be able to find me, and I can't let that happen. I barely managed to escape the last time.

What? No, no, not bee-bees. I'm talking about...Bees.

You're not from around here, are you? How'd you even get here?

Hang on. If I placed that vector tunnel in the park...but...that was only - you're four days early! How the hell are you four days early?! I'm not ready for you yet!

Okay. Okay, quick, just - put this chip in. Okay? What do you MEAN, you don't have a chipslot? EVERYONE has - fine. Fine. Just swallow it or something, because unless you have a chip, the Be -

Oh, fucking goddamn motherfucking SHIT. Listen, you hear that? That buzzing, clicking kind of noise? That's them. Swallow your chip and then RUN. Run until you can't hear that noise any more, and when they're gone...meet me back here. There's a lot of important things we need to discuss. I'll be waiting.

Now go. GO!

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