I am nobody, though I did beat my first games at 2 years, (Bomberman and Super Mario Brothers.) I beat other games but the next one I remember was Super Mario Brothers at 3 and this game that requires you to use both controllers, one to move a guy, the other to raise and lower pipes.(Oh, I can't remember that name, but I'm pretty certain the name didn't have a real word in it.)

Next game I remember was contra at seven years old, (Didn't learn about the Konami code until game informer showed it in its top ten cheats.)

From then on I proceeded to continue my pattern, but I am handicapped severely in multiplayer. I have a satellite connection, so I am forced to play turn based games.

But then I read Crack's articles on child prodigies and realized I wasted my youth. God, please let me reset!

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