I've always had good ideas but then some bastard I've never met steals them, so I feel I should be compensated.

Here's a nugget of knowledge for you,

-A baby elephant seal is called a wiener.

More random rants and nuggets will be available upon request, I also do office parties, bachelorette parties, baby showers, AA meetings, birthdays, and bar mitzvahs.

I no longer do children's parties after the 2007 incident when my fist accidentally collided with a clown's face, in my defense though, Boggles was a smug asshole.

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