I'm the biggest joke I've ever played on myself. I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a slice of bacon. I may not be the best writer in the world, but I never took any writing or English class seriously back in school and I failed most of them because I didn't. I do not write pretentiously, I mean, how can I? I don't even know what the word "pretentiously" means, I just used it to look smarter than I actually am. It's highly doubtful that I even used it in the right context.

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