I am the most Elite Melon of all the Melons, and I flat-out refuse to pet your horse. I enjoy apple juice, hemorrhoids, and long walks on the beach. My name is Greg, or Paul, or Carl, or John, or Lionel, or something like th--- it's Riley. Justin Bieber sucks. Twilight sucks. Glenn Beck sucks. Asian people suck. Vacuums suck. Fish sucks. 2009 through early 2010 pop music sucks. The wilderness sucks. Chihuahuas suck. G-rated movies suck. PG-rated movies suck. Keyboard phones suck. Apple computers suck. Oprah Winfrey sucks. School sucks. Laws suck. Canada sucks. Canadians suck. Nickelback sucks. Law and Order sucks. CSI sucks. All other crime-drama shows suck. 24 sucks. Jerry Seinfeld sucks. Jerry Springer sucks. Michael Jackson sucked. George Carlin sucked. Bob Saget sucks. Stupid people suck. You suck. I love the Obamas... and cheese... and Eminem... and some black rappers... and 5 gum... and Mountain Dew... and ballet. And last but not least, =OvO= is not a nightjar.

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