"Maybe if I make the same HILARIOUS comment on every article every day forever and ever, they'll write an article about ME some day! If I just keep quiet in every other respect, my inscrutable motivation will be the stuff of LEGEND! Mother will finally accept me, if for nothing else than my quirky genius. Now, to think of a clever screen name and a hilarious comment..."
"Ha! This is awesome! These punks must be tearing their hair out at the great mystery that is E-Bot! Wailing and prostrating themselves in frustration, pondering my habits and the force that drives me onward! I am a master troll! No, more than that, I am Post-troll... the avant-garde of trolling! The last troll, who stands at the end of time, casting his shadow back over the whole of history. The Uber-troll, for which no amount of time on 4chan could prepare you..."
"Stupid noobs just don't get me. Downvotes. Ha! They're just jealous they didn't think of this first. Well, guess what? If you half-wits start doing it now, you'll just look stupid!"
"I should just quit. That'd show 'em. No! That's what they want! Never!! It's time to double down..."
"Alas, the journey seems endless. O, to bear this cross, to endure the privation of a mind in constant peril of madness. Such is the cost of genius. But lo, I shall not falter. Fuckbunkies. Fuckbunkies, I say!!"
"Mother doesn't understand. I've shown her the comments, the diagrams, the SWOT analysis. Explained it all in stunning detail, but all in vain. But what does she know?? Fuckbunkies has become the very essence of who I am, the golden thread at the center of my very being."
"What have I done? I've come too far to turn back now! I mustn't stop! If I were to quit now, I'd look like some kind of LOSER! They'd all think mother was right! But my strength betrays me even as I reach for the 'F'key. What mad hell is this?"
"I can't go on. I have to find a way out. A quick escape with no loss of dignity. Only the savage sting irony. Oh why must every great mind suffer so? The great experiment has come to naught. How can I back out? There must be a way..."
"I've got it! I'll post this picture of mother to my profile! Then she can take the fall, while I quietly resume a life of lurking in my basement. Who's the loser NOW, mother?!"
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