Hi. I'm Alan. Even though my account name is Dereck. Long story. I'm not very bright.
I provide scale measurements for various prehistoric creatures. Like, I just stand next to these giants, and they snap the picture. Then I run like fuck while holding my right arm up, forming a right angle. I can't put it down. Long story.
Look, I gotta get back to work. Us scale providers live a dangerous life. The most dangerous animal of all? The human. That bastard never pays. Of course after him comes Alan. You just watch when they don't wanna pony up the money.
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