Deina

Portland, Oregon

Real Name:

Deina

Member Since:

May 26, 2012

About Me

There is nothing, at least nothing I can think of at this languid, sleep-deprived moment, I hate more than double-stepping.

You know, you're walking across a sloppy floor or you're trying to climb up a steep set of bleachers that are crowded with spectators.. There's just enough room between each giant ass to get half a foot, so you place one down sheepishly, then try to steady yourself while you impetuously search for the next place to step... unfortunately, the next available space is a bit too far away to reach from your current location, so you must step down into the foot-rest area... shimmy along... and start again... and you end up going all the way to the top while always leading with the same foot.

Come to think of it, double-stepping your way down is much worse.
'You know lady, I realize that you're fucking huge, but would it kill you to heave up on that massive thigh for just a few moments so I can sneak by you, rather than fall to my death?'

This whole scenario always happens to take place when you're already late to the event. Everyone in the auditorium has already taken their seats and so therefore, they're all eyeing you... sniggering to themselves, willing you to take the slightest misstep, and basking in the gratification that it is you, not them, at the center of such stressful attention.