DL Bennett

DL Bennett's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Derreck Bennett
  • Location: Evansville, Indiana
  • Member Since: July 7th, 2013
  • Last Seen: August 12th, 2013 2:59 pm
  • Personal tag line: I'm Blue, da ba dee da ba die...
  • Message board posts: 8

About DL Bennett

I am 10-foot tall and bulletproof. I enjoy long walks on the beach, movies with happy endings, and making out with your mom. In high school, I was voted "Most likely to get shot, stabbed, or hurled off a high-rise for not keeping my goddamn mouth shut." I cried when I first heard that; but, I assure you, they were tears of joy.

My worst fear is spontaneous combustion. Just imagine: You're walking down the street; it's a beautiful day; the birds are singing; then, you F**KING EXPLODE. I pray that never happens to me, although, based on my diet, I am probably a good candidate.

I'm a Scorpio, but don't let that fool you. Not all Scorpios are as intelligent as astrologers would have you believe. I never passed the SAT because I couldn't spell it. I'm so dumb, I make Einstein look smart. Oh, and I suck at analogies (whatever that means).

My greatest advice: Dance like nobody's watching; Love like you've never been hurt; Sing like nobody's listening; And put this in your mouth while nobody's looking.

Articles

No articles found.

Columns

No columns found.

Videos

No videos found.

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!