What people fail to realise about me is how truly inoffensive I really am. I have never trolled, I have never attacked, I have never once said a harsh word against anyone, regardless of my personal opinions. Any hatred, disdain, or disgust experienced from my existence has been engendered solely in the minds of those who read this single, nonsensical word: Fuckbunkies.
Yes, it is vulgar, in part, but on a website such as this, primarily geared towards an adult market, I assumed such vulgarity would not be out of place. By itself, it means nothing. Instead, it is something which enrages only when placed into a context by someone willing themselves to be enraged.
If you are one of the many who have hated me for this, please, think on why it is you've gotten so mad.
There have been those who've pursued me for months, making a point of posting the most retaliatory, destructive reply they could think of. But at no point have I antagonised them into doing so. There was never any call for response, never any taunts for rebuttal, never any aggression on my part. They simply took it upon themselves to respond with vitriol.
It is, of course, the nature of the internet to be the most aggressive, obnoxious dick it can, but in my lonelier moments it depresses me to think just how prevalent this has become. The cynic would suggest I'm simply being naïve, that there is no escaping the more thoughtless and cruel side of humanity in such a faceless and consequence free environment as the worldwide web. Although this cynic has a point, I believe the desire for improvement is the ultimate moral goal, for both the individual and the society, and so I continue to be saddened when people are unable to simply ignore that which annoys them.
People no doubt wonder why I started doing this. In truth, I thought it would be funny. I was interested to see what the response would be to a nonsensical, vaguely absurd word posted with unwavering resolve on every article I read. The results, though mostly within what is to be expected from any comments section, were sometimes so unbelievable (in both good and bad ways) I was amazed by what I was reading. The creativity some individuals possess stuns me. I can only hope these sparks of humanity reside within each of us, and that all it takes is the right circumstances to let them shine. It may be naïve, it may sound cliché in this environment, but I believe it to be the best frame of mind I can put myself in. What reasonable person would truly prefer to remain pessimistic, when there is so much available to experience?
It may be easier to condemn, to criticise and abuse, but in the long term it will always remain better to be open, accepting, and as hopeful as is possible.
In what brief time I have left in my life, I hope I can summon the strength to be unafraid of the failures ahead of me, to shut out the voices in my head telling me to quit, to give up and be lazy. I know I won’t always be able to reach the lofty ideals I set before myself, but surely, there will be times when I’m able to confront my weaknesses and overcome them. There is so much left to do, so much I want, I desire, so much I hope will make me happy, and so very little time to do it in.
In conclusion, I want whoever reads to know I am not a bot, I am not alone, and I am most definitely not malicious. I am curious, I am consistent, and I am optimistic. I am in love, and while I recognise how fleeting such a state can be, for now I am happy. I can only hope this continues.
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