I'm just one of those people you fall in love with instantly.
I love Queen, I love AC/DC, I love Biggie (fuck Tupac) and I love Jimmy Buffett. Also Country Music.
I consider myself Polymusistic. I've read CRACKED since 2008, when I first found it clogging the toilet of dicks that is the internet.
I'm exactly the kind of guy that would love to write for Cracked, but also the kind of guy who hates to write.
Just kidding.
Hire me.
Please.
I'm 100 feet tall and my dick is the length of a thousand schoolbuses, women tremble at the sight of my monsterous girth, I AM THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
I also love using new paragraphs in my writing.
For dramatic effect.

Won't you join me?

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