I'm Batman. I beat the Joker at a comedy slam. I finished a crossword puzzle faster than the Riddler. I beat Bane in an arm-wrestling competition. I collected more umbrellas than the Penguin. I chased more squirrels than Catwoman. I saved more polar bears than Mr. Freeze. My haunted house scared the Scarecrow. My tits are bigger than Harley Quinn's. I attended more hippie festivals than Poison Ivy. I'm the goddamn Batman.

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