I’ve seen most of New England, thrown rocks at the Statue of Liberty, chased alligators across the everglades, been chased by tramps in California, got my first lap dance in North Carolina, dated my first stripper in Dallas, jet skied with Akon in South Padre, slighted Jerry Jones in the Death Star, walked miles of Texas, wasted time in run down honkey tonks, done every thing in my power to escape exclusive venues, I’ve walked through a decrepit hidden grave high in a lost jungle village.

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