7 Complete Lies About Me:

1. I was created in a test tube using DNA from Wonder Woman and a wombat.

2. When I was just 3, I accidentally killed the Easter Bunny in what has since become referred as "The Cadbury Incident".

3. I never learned to ride a bicycle because I was too busy being a unicycle badass.

4. I invented the pimp-tastic fuzzy top hat.

5. My first pet was an Ewok that died a tragic death. RIP Mr. Nippet Finklesticks.

6. I went back in time and created the duck billed platypus just to give Cracked something to write about.

7. In death, I shall burst into flame and then emerge from my own ashes as a horrible phoenix like zombie.


1 Thing that is True About Me:

1. I have a cat with one eye.

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