Born into a family of immense wealth, my overly large family of 47 sought residence in Southern Yemen. My father, a camel herder by trade was a womanising alchoholic who beat a rigid doctrine into me. At the age of 11, I began my career as an acrobat in an Asian circus touring the outer parts of Rangoon. Multi-talented, including proficient use of a needle and thread and also cosmetic application, I arose to my calling as a make-up artist for the film "Titanic". Although paid quite considerably and consistently, I befriended a young Scotsman who earned his living as an eskimo residing in the Lemaire channel. Many years were spent in a landscape enveloped by the ice-capsules of the nether regions before finding my place of rest here in Dublin. Post sub-thermal stress led to several attempts of genital dismemberment until discovering my path. Today I currently hold the record for the most unsuccessful sex operation undergone in Ireland.

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