The 20 Most Secretly Brilliant Stupid Criminals

#3. Bestselling Novel Turns Out to Be Written Confession

Krystian Bala studied cutting edge French philosophy in college and graduated with the highest possible mark. He fancied himself a post modernist intellectual, and like most philosophy majors, soon found out that the real world fancied him lacking job experience. Unable to support his family with expansive observations on the blurry line between truth and fiction, he soon had to abandon his Ph.D. in philosophy and open a cleaning business. He hated the gig, and spent all the money that came in, rather than investing it back into the company. Fortunately, he was working on a novel about murder and postmodern philosophy that he was sure would one day be considered alongside the greatest works of literature. So basically as good as cash.

"No way the wife can be mad about this development!"

Unfortunately, when his debut novel, Amok, hit shelves it was a commercial failure. A few critics praised it for being "paralyzingly realistic" while commenters on his website considered it flat out creepy, and evidence that Bala was a complete psychopath. In a shocking twist nobody saw coming, Internet commenters were right about something.

When a detective investigating a murder connected a cell phone to Bala, he read Amok, and found that it contained details about the very murder he was investigating. Details that only the murderer could have possibly known. Bala was prosecuted for the crime and sentenced to 25 years for murder, and complete and utter stupidity.

"Seriously, dude, couldn't you have just made some shit up?"

The Secretly Brilliant:

Well, except for the fact that Bala's novel became a bestseller when he was accused of the crime. A New Yorker article about the weird blurring of reality and fiction is being made into a film by Focus Features, which happens to be one of the main themes of the post modern philosophy Bala studied and couldn't find a way to make people care about back when he graduated from college. Bala might have been terrible at getting away with murder, but he'd probably argue that getting caught has done wonders for his career.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Trending Now

Friends' Recent Activity


Cracked Shows

Most Popular

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!