Tennis

Tennis is a sport played between two players or between two teams of two players each. Each player uses a strung racquet to strike a ball over a net into the opponent's court. The players, unfortunately, may not always look like her:

This is how you strike the ball.

Are you familiar with these two? If you are, you may probably know what tennis is about after all...

Just The Facts

  1. The modern sport of tennis originates from the United Kingdom in the late 19th century.
  2. Tennis is currently played/ watched by over a billion people on earth.
  3. Some men watching women's tennis may not be totally focusing on the sport itself.

History

Tennis is probably the most popular individual sport in the world. It is a sport that hosts a lot of great names in its history books.

There are 4 main tournaments in tennis, called the Grand Slams: the Australian Open, in January; the Roland Garros, in May/ June; the Wimbledon Championships, in June/ July; and the US Open, in August/ September.

Tennis is played in multiple surfaces, such as clay, grass, hardcourt, carpet, and most recently:

Water

Grass AND clay

It's a game played virtually anywhere in the world, including:

In the past, players used to play with wooden racquets, and hot female players used to look like this:

Nowadays, it's quite different as we'll see (if you are a guy, and being in this site you probably are, you've already scanned the page and seen it already. In fact, I don't even know what you are doing reading this bit when you can be googling the player's names... Well, but I digress!).

Tennis is a sport with many great players, the most important being:

Men:

Andre Agassi; Artur Ashe; Bjorn Borg; Boris Becker; Fred Perry; Guillermo Vilas; Ivan Lendl; Jimmy Connors; John McEnroe; Lleyton Hewitt (because I said so, that's why); Mats Wilander; Pete Sampras; Rafael Nadal (I think it's safe to include this one); Rene Lacoste; Rod Laver; Roger Federer (no question about this one); Roy Emerson; Stefen Edberg.

Women:

Billie Jean King; Chris Evert; Evonne Fay Goolagong Cawley (who is the winner of this page WTF name); Justine Henin; Margaret Court; Martina Hingis; Martina Navratilova; Monica Seles (award for collecting nationalities, 4 to be exact); Serena Williams; Steffi Graf; Venus Williams.

Unfortunately, this is a sport known to be very hostile to the environment, and it is Al Gore's next big concern after global warming.

Kinda hostile for the ballgirls as well:

Present (men)

Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are the two titans of the modern game. As in all great rivalries, there are supporters of both who tend to minimize the other's feats. Anyway, they are two great masters of this sport, and tennis benefits hugely from both.

Roger Federer is becoming more and more consistently hailed as the greatest ever. He holds some of the greatest men's tennis records at the age of 27.

Both of them are well known as well for their capacity to look shocked and amazed by their own achievements, even though no other man in the modern world can win like they do. If you're not really familiar with the game of tennis you may be forgiven for thinking that they have suffered horrific injuries at the end of their matches.

He has this habit of pretending to be very shocked whenever he wins something, just for the photos.

Yeah. They compete for everything really.

I SCREAM THE LOUDEST! YOU WISH!!

(at the official "This is Sparta" tennis competition)

I'm so good, I can even win F*CK OFF!!

dressing like this!

Present (women)

Women's tennis is currently in a downslope, since Justine Henin retired at the age of 25, in mid 2008 (she figured she will be better living unemployed in an era of worlwide crisis and depression, instead of earning millions a year by playing a sport... Oh well, to each her won!). Since that day, there have been 5 different ladies ranked number one in the world, 2 of them famously having never won a single Grand Slam.

Tennis is a sport example for people sustaining sex equality. In the major tournaments, the prize money is exactly the same for men and women. But, as the majority of tennis viewers are men, and women are by far the greatest creation on earth (seriously, take a look at the topic "boobs" in the right tab. No wonder it's the most popular ever!), the sexy side of women's tennis is always an highlight. And there are very nice ones, really:

1 - Ana Ivanovic

2 - Anna Kournikova

It is a relatively unknown fact, but she really did use to play tennis.

3 - Caroline Wozniacki

4 - Daniela Hantuchova

5 - Dominika Cibulkova

6 - Elena Dementieva

7 - Jelena Dokic

8 - Maria Kirilenko

9 - Maria Sharapova

You may have heard about this one.

10 - Michelle Larcher de Brito

She's 16, you pervert! Congratulations on what you just did.

11 - Sania Mirza

12 - Serena Williams

13 - Simona Halep

This is the girl from the picture at the beginning of the page. The (tennis) world has been left in shock after she recently committed a crime of breast reduction at the age of 17. Tough luck for all tennis lovers.

At least we thought so! BUT NO!! My extensive research paid off and I came to find out the hidden fact that Simona Halep didn't want no one to find out! It's all a photoshopped fake! And I got photo evidence:

That is a real life size racquet! Truth is, Halep's breasts are not that big. The rest of her body just happens to be really, REALLY small!

14 - Sorana Cirstea

15 - Viktoriya Kutuzova

She has a face, you know... It's just not that pretty.

And undoubtedly, the queen of them all, Amelie Mauresmo

Hmm... Sorry about that!

They surely look pretty good, and despite the fact that women's tennis has seen better days, each one of them would still beat the crap out of you in a match, no doubt!

Some soccer traditions will be coming to tennis hopefully in the near future:

Future

The sport is already being played by some of the best of the future.

Some think that in 2083 the game will look like this, which is kinda cool:

As I will be a young and physically fit 95 year-old by then, I'm really looking forward to it! As of this moment, just 26834 days left into 2083! Woohoo!! Count with me!

Incredible points

These are some of the greatest points ever seen (on YouTube, at least. Watch in HQ so you can spot the ball):

And some of the funny points:

Imitations

I won't lie to you... Being a tennis superstar is hard! They have to wake up in a different hotel every week, practice some tennis in the morning, eat, play some matches, take an ice bath and go to sleep. Doing so, in the sport they love, for a few millions of dollars each year can really leave you devastated.

But don't feel bad for them! Because they have already found a way to express their feelings ans be able to smile! By making fun of their opponents. It doesn't leave anyone fired up and make up for some very comical moments. Everyone wins.

Roddick imitating Nadal:

Roddick imitating Serena:

Roddick imitating Sharapova:

Roddick imitating Agassi:

Agassi and Federer making fun of each other's hairstyles:

Djokovic imitating Nadal and Sharapova:

Djokovic imitating Nadal, Roddick, Sharapova, Federer, Volandri, Ramirez Hidalgo (who??):