Taylor Swift

Taylor Allison Swift is the precocious 19-year-old country/pop singer/guitar player who sings about the insecurities of every eighth grade girl in the United States, and who every eighth grade boy gets a raging boner over.

Nothing says talent like a rhinestone guitar.

Anyone looks good compared to Vince Gill.

Those eyes.  Yeah.

Just The Facts

  1. Taylor Swift refuses to talk about her love life because she doesn't want people to picture her naked.
  2. Everyone wants to picture Taylor Swift naked. Everyone.
  3. The only reason that there is debate about Joe Jonas' homosexuality is because he dated Taylor Swift .
  4. Taylor Swift was ranked 57th on the AskMen.com Top 99 Women (2009 Edition).

Early Life

Taylor Swift was born to a pair of loving parents who encouraged their daughter to pursue her musical abilities at a young age.  By age ten she was writing here own music, and by age eleven she was distributing demo tapes to record companies in Nashville.  By age tweleve she was (most likely hot and) learning to play guitar, and by age fifteen she had a record deal with Big Machine Records.

From The Time She Was Hot Until The Present

By 2006 Taylor was releasing songs and singles, and getting hot.  Many of the songs she released during the next years dealt with relationships and heartache, which makes most men wonder who the hell would break up with Taylor Swift.  Her 2008 single Love Story off of her album Fearless quickly captivated the hearts and bowels of teen girls everywhere, and was responsible for teenage boys everywhere having to step up their game.