Soccer is the most popular sport in the world that is loved and adored by everyone except the United States. The players are a different story.
Yeah right, as if you are interested in learning the rules. Besides, you can pick it up in an afternoon, as long as you don't mind being arrested for scaring the kids.
Non in-game rules though, which are much more important for American tourists (which, let's face it is the only time you're gonna be bothered to go watch a game) are listed below:
OK, let's assume you want to pretend that you like soccer--probably because you're chatting up a hot Spanish chick--and since you can't keep going on about the Spanish Armada, you're looking for something else to talk about, and so is she. Using this quick guide, you can give her manly thrusts of football knowledge that allows you to penetrate deep into the love affair that people have with the game.
Of course, nobody is saying that football hooliganism is cool, what really gets our goat is that while TV networks will report on instances of hooliganism, they never have the nuance to tell us who won. For those of us who like to watch football riots, the only way of judging is by measuring which side conceded the most arrests. The higher the arrest count, the more honorable the victory.