Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

T:ROFT is good for two things: Megan Fox and robot fighting. Other then that, it's a large piece of shit no one should have to watch.

Devastator testicles?  Honestly?

Just The Facts

  1. Highly anticipated sequel to the first Transformers movie.
  2. Highest grossing film of 2009.
  3. The worst movie ever conceived.

The Good

By sticking to the #1 reason anyone went to see the first movie, director Michael Bay has made one of the smartest moves in film history: utilizing the sheer awesome of Megan Fox.  Oh, and giant, fighting robots, but those are not important.  What is important is possibly the best piece of film ever directed.

While forgiving the misguided uploader for the constant zooming in and out, we have 2 full minutes of the most awesome 2 seconds of film in the history of the goddamned Universe.

Slow motion awesomeness.

Oh, yeah, and some robots.

Everything Else

The entire movie was quite possibly thought of while Michael Bay was taking a shit, and thought one of his anus-nuggets would make a nice movie.  It scored lower then Pearl Harbor, and was called "...a horrible experience of unbearable length" by Roger Ebert.  Rolling Stone Critic Peter Travers also saw a large heap of shit, and stated that "Transformers 2 has a shot at the title Worst Movie of the Decade".  Average cinema goers gave the film a B+, showing one could film their grandmother skinning skunk penis and have it make $60+ million in the first day.  

The characters Mudflap and Skids are also equally 3 parts racism,17 parts unfunny bullshit.  After being called "the most mother fucking racist characters ever seen in film", Michael Bay says that the film was supposed to be "good, clean fun", presumably while wiping his ass with a thousand dollar bill.  While still showing that minstrelsy is still alive and kicking, it also shows unfunny is easily achievable with a handful of horrible racist (and non-racist) jokes.


In Summation

This movie is equal in awesome (Megan Fox, robots) and utter shit (the other 2 hours of the movie).  No one should have to sit through 147 minutes of shit for a total of 5 minutes of good.  Ever.  Hopefully Michael Bay will stop calling his failed CGI-abortions films, and move on.