I met a nice young lady last Wednesday. I was at Starbucks for my morning WI-FI theft and free cups of water when I saw her. She was sitting in the armchair reading a book and sipping tea, i actually didn't know what she was drinking but to me the story sounds better if it was tea. Her complexion was that of peach colored silk wrapped around an ivory statue of a goddess, a sexy sexy goddess...a goddess id like to touch with my words of devotion (and with my winky) . Her amber waves hair were held back from her flawless face by a bright purple scrunchie and into a unicorn tail (essentially the same thing as a pony tail but much ponier). I approached her, I was nervous seeing as i haven't spoken to a woman since the Lucy Liu Debacle i.e. restraining order luncheon of '08 but regardless of obvious insecurities and even more obvious arousal i soldiered forth with my greeting. "I noticed you know how to read" was probably not the best way to kick off our "relationship-she-didnt-know-about-yet but-will-totally-be-open-for-if-she-just-gets-to-know-the-inner-me". She looked at me with an expression that i can only describe as the reverse of an erection and ignored me completely. " I understand" i stated to the dust cover of a Stephen King novel covering her face and loudly enough to over shadow her loud humming noises " my grotesque visage must disturb you, please let me explain. Before i was born my parents were very ugly and decided that each other were the best either of them were ever going to do , so they married and procreated. In my family I'm not that bad looking. My sister looks like Zack Braff''s testicles if they had been chewed by an angry beaver ( dagget)." Her response came like music from the lips of angels but ill never know what she said due to the fact that stun guns are fairly loud, especially if they're jammed right into ones neck by an angry Armenian Starbucks owner. Such is love lost. Always thought about but seldom reminisced through a rose colored filter.