Pens

One anonymous eccentric millionaire has made an overly-elaborate plan for world domination through a common item that nobody will expect is slowly ruining their lives.

The notes left by the eccentric millionaire, detailing his evil plan.

Just The Facts

  1. Pens are the common household item.
  2. Little do we know, pens are dooming us all. (Well, we do know, but we're Cracked, and we know everything, anyway.)
  3. Cracked.com in no way endorses the selling of invisible pens.
  4. We are also not scared of the millionaire, because we have mind controlling pens, which are sure to let us take over the world faster.

Pens in Today's World

While pens date back to a long time ago, they, like other ancient inventions such as fire, eating and breathing, remain popular to this day (Unlike, though, Ancient Apple's iRock, a rock that has an apple on top of it and is used for smashing things).

There is a wide array of pens that can be bought today, such as the ballpoint pen, a felt-tip pen and a fountain pen. They each have different uses, for example, the ballpoint pen is most commonly used for writing, while the felt tip pen is most commonly used for drawing on the faces of people who have passed out.

Pens show no signs of becoming less popular, mainly because writing with a pencil makes you look like a child.

Pens in the Ancient World

As we have metioned, pens are ancient inventions.

Believe it or not, there once was a world were it was perpetually sunny and everyone was happy. In that world, the arts were of a higher standard because people could write down their thoughts immediately after having them.

Today, you can see where this world is better than ours by simply turning on the TV. In fact many of the terrible TV shows that you watch were once brilliant ideas, which could not be written down because of the new evil pens. Then, the people that had these ideas would be left with only a vague memory of what these ideas were. This would make what could have been a piece of art that defined the century something that makes you want to scratch your eyes out.

For example, did you know that Jersey Shore was a heartbreaking period drama about Italian immagrents moving to New Jersey with hopes of going to New York, only to face challenges like discrimination against their kind.

Now do you see how pens are making our world worse? Cracked suggests just giving into the millionaire mentioned above. Maybe he'll go easy on us.