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Cooking

Cooking has been helping people fornicate since fornication existed.
This is why it is important to learn to cook
This is why it is important to learn to cook
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i23/jeff_bennion/cooking/chocolate-girl2.jpg

Just The Facts

  1. The easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
  2. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, the same chemical that is released in the brain when you fall in love.
  3. Cooking combines art, science, and technical skill.

Cooking

According to Men's Health:

For 55% of women, eating a an amazing meal turns them on.

83% of women find it a turn on to cook with their partner.

70% believe that an adventurous eater is adventurous in the bedroom as well.

And 96% say that having a meal cooked for them turns them on.

Cooking can be separated into two categories - savory dishes and sweet dishes. Savory dishes are your entrees and side dishes and sweet dishes are your desserts. Here is an outline of both types.

Savory Dishes

Steak:

Pictured below is the filet mignon, one of the least used muscles of the cow, and therefore much more tender than the chewy shoulder or leg portions. A filet mignon has very little fat and therefore, is often cooked wrapped in bacon to keep it fron drying out. A rib eye steak is a very fatty, but flavorful cut. A tri tip, skirt steak, or a top sirloin also has outstanding flavor and are more reasonably priced.

Chicken:

Roasted chicken can be complemented with a citric acid, such as lemon or orange juice, and seasoned with herbs suge as fresh sage to bring out an aromatic earthy smell.

Fish:

Grilling salmon on cedar planks that have been smoked for an hour will give it a smoky taste. For a quick and delicious recipe, mix 2 tablespoons of mustard and 2 tablespoons of honey and brush it over the salmon. Sprinkle crushed almons or macadamia nuts over the brushed salmon and spray with a butter spray. Cook on cedar planks until flaky and cooked all the way trhough.

Baked halibut filets stuffed with crab cake are also an easy way to cook fish.

Lamb:

Mix whiskey, honey, and fresh minced garlic and coat your lamb chops with the thick glaze. Sear on a high heat on both sides. Serve with diced mango, red onion, and cilantro with lemon juice.

Pork:

Nothing scares pigs more than the deliciousness of its own rib bones. The perfect rib should fall off the bone when cooked. A paprika, garlic, chili rub applied before cooking will enhance the flavor. Add a sweet, spicy, tangy bbq sauce 15 minutes before done cooking to let the sauce carmelize on the meat without burning.

Potatoes:

There are 1000 ways to cook potatoes. Potatoes are made of complex carbohydrates (starches). When cooked, the inner surface of the potatoe will break down into simple carbohydrates (sugars). Different potatoes break down differently and react differently to boiling as opposed to baking. Red potatoes are excellent for baking. Take several small red potatoes and dice into wedges. Toss in a bowl with garlic, parmesan cheese, butter, and kosher salt and bake at about 325 for about 45 minutes to an hour.

Sweet Dishes

Sweet dishes require far more art work than savory dishes. A carefully crafted cake, not only represents the skill and care that went into creating the dish, but can create anticipation and get the salivary glands working, signaling to the brain that it is still hungry. Very, very hungry.

Strawberries and raspberries have a tart taste, which compliments chocolate well. Homemade whipped cream, or creme chantilly (2 cups heavy whipping cream, 1 tsp vanilla, 1/4 cup powdered sugar) can also act to offset some of the richness of a chocolate dessert.

The sweetness of white chocolate, although not really a chocolate, can counterbalance the bitterness of baking chocolate and adds aesthetic value to any dark chocolate dish.

Chocolate dipped strawberries are easy to make and extremely delicious.

Non-chocolate desserts:

Cream puff swans are a lot easier than they look. Place tear drop shaped bits of cream puff dough on a cookie sheet. For the necks, simply use the left over dough to create a skinny S shape on the cookie sheet and bake for about 5 minutes. Take the puffed up tear drop cream puffs and cut the top half off. Slice that top ih half to make your wings. Fill the inside with whipped cream and insert the S-shaped head in the front. Dust with powdered sugar and serve on a plate of raspberry sauce.

Plating

Plating is the art of aranging food on a plate (usually on top of some kind of sauce), to make it look even more appetizing. Plating takes great creativity and skill.

Creating outlines using melted chocolate and filling the patterns with a raspberry sauce is a quick and easy way to make an attractive and functional design.

Cooking Articles

77 Homemaking Hotties   Submitted by: ninja   |   Jul 17, 2009 | Source: Coed Magazine
Discovery Health Food for Sex   Submitted by: ninja   |   Jun 29, 2009
Omaha Steaks   Submitted by: ninja   |   Jun 29, 2009
America's Test Kitchen   Submitted by: ninja   |   Jun 29, 2009


Cracked Talk on | Cooking

I liked it other than your first image, the chart. I just thought it looked sloppy (probably my OCD side), but other than that MINOR thing great work my friend.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 10/10/2009 8:56 PM
Lennyjaycor

I read the entire thing with my tongue sticking out and drooling slightly... awesome.

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 10/8/2009 8:35 AM
SwordRaven

I know exactly how you feel. As an FYI: Another great flavor for roasted red-skinned potatoes is tossing them with extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, cracked black pepper, rosemary, and a bit of either minced garlic or garlic powder. Rosemary is wonderful with potatoes.

Posted on 10/17/2009 3:09 PM
nickymccloud

Can't decide whether I'm hungry, or horny, or both. Good article with (at last) some practical information, rather than just tedious fanboy bollocks.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 10/5/2009 9:37 AM
shadowfacts

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