William Shatner

William Shatner is the best thing Canada has ever produced and the actor who portrayed Captain James Tiberius Kirk; science fiction's most awesome character next to Twiki

Just The Facts

  1. If you identify as a Trekkie, there's a good chance William Shatner wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire
  2. William Shatner once photographed a model for Playboy magazine. This is inexplicably creepy.
  3. William Shatner wants you to eat All-Bran

Pre- Star Trek

From the time he was born in 1931 until the mid 1960's when he was finally cast in the television show Star Trek, William Shatner was waiting to be cast in the show Star Trek. In the interim there's some evidence he may have starred in the Canadian version of Howdy Doody, which is shameful at best.

Star Trek

From 1966 to 1969, Shatner portrayed James T. Kirk, a character that has dominted the man's life ever since. he claims to have finally come to terms with that fact but odds are he wakes up some days wishing he could beat the ever loving shit out of each and every person who still calls him Kirk to his face.

During the course of the show, Shatner became known for his inability to not look or sound cocky in all situations. This has followed him throughout his life.

Shatner popularized the idea of an explorer who fucks his way across the universe, a mantle later taken up by lesser Star Trek characters and thoroughly avoided by the entire useless, sexless cast of the dung pile called Star Trek Voyager, despite its inclusion of Jeri Ryan wearing nothing but paint.

Over the years, Shatner has expressed his disdain for Trek fans and at other time admiration for making them who he is.

Since Star Trek aired, Shatner has made 6 films, a cartoon series, a few video games and a handful of books about the Star Trek universe. In his final appearance in a Star Trek film, Star Trek: Generations, Kirk is killed by intergalactic bullshit.

After Trek

In the 1980's, Shatner tried his hand at being a different force to be reckoned with, one that didn't fuck green-skinned broad, and played the role of TJ Hooker, a cop with a terrible, terrible name. The show was popular, despite the fact it attempted to portray Heather Locklear as an authority figure.

Shatner later hosted the show Rescue 911, which featured re-enactments of 911 calls covering a range of emergencies from accidents to people horrified that they might end up on a reality show pre-cursor to all the shit they air on SpikeTV. Shatner narrated and looked entirely serious the whole time.

Shatner's latest endeavor, the legal drama Boston Legal, has proved to be something people don't hate even though it's produced by David E. Kelly who can't not allow every over-the-top and totally preposterous legal drama he makes to spiral into a toilet of mediocrity and continually unbelievable to the point of being insulting to the audience scenarios. For further evidence see Picket Fences, Ally McBeal and the Practice.

Assorted Awesomeness

In 2006, William Shatber sold a kidney stone to GoldenPalace.com, at once something awesome and completely revolting.

In 1978, this shit happened. This shit was real, man.

Then this shit happened

and this too