Giraffes

Giraffes are probably the most pointless animals ever. yet we still seem to have a fascination with the freaks. We stare at them in zoos, for what?! they dont breathe fire or shit diamonds or anything.Dickheads.

He's a giraffe mother-fucker.

Just The Facts

  1. Giraffes have long necks, as well as long tongues.
  2. The only sound they make is coughing, to not offend their predators.
  3. However they are magnificent flautists.
  4. Male Giraffes some times start necking eachother. This is similar to dogging.
  5. If you kill a giraffe its soul haunts till the day you die.
  6. Evolution really kicked them in the ass with the whole yellow and brown spots situation.

History of Giraffes.

The official reason for their long necks is so they can reach leaaves high on a tree. Of course the real reason is that many years ago, when giraffes were used as transport to the wealthy (horses were considered unworthy to hold up their fat asses at the time). they used to peep in on the young ladies changing. Sir Walter Raleigh caught one and tortured him to give up all the giraffes. Thus They were sent to Africa.

Present Situation.

They have been kinda fucked in the ass since then many have been put in zoos while obnoxious people shout at that to do Somthin'! Recently though things have changed Giraffes in zoos are becoming evil and are planning world domination.And they also plan to dance on Walter Raleighs grave. Giraffes in Africa however rae retarded and not interesting one bit. Male Giraffes neck alot, which is just on excuse to get near another hot sweaty giraffe neck (they have neck fetishes). Giraffes also have the shortest sleep requirements which is between ten minutes and two hours in a 24-hour period, thats kind of awesome as it leaves time for eating leaves and standing.