Tom Selleck

tom selleck is a TV and movie icon famous mainly for his roles in hit TV shows "magnum P.I", and las vegas ))

Just The Facts

  1. originally cast as indiana jones, but thought using a whip was gay
  2. senior NRA member, who also started the "guns for mustaches" program
  3. played one season (1992) with the detroit tigers
  4. shaving his mustache for film, or TV cause a immediate deficit in the GDP of belgium
  5. born in detroit michigan via krypton
  6. earned a basketball scholarship at USC in one year just to prove white men can jump

WHO IS TOM SELLECK

selleck was born in 1945 in detroit michigan,  not krypton like most have surmised.Selleck excelled in athletics, even earning a basketball scholarship at USC ,but loved using guns and hurting ppl more, so he enlisted in the california national guard just in time for the watts riots. After the guard selleck took to acting starring in six failed pilots,(in these six he did his own stunts which resulted in 27 fatalities, and 50 severely injured before he landed a sucessful one as )

He achieved mainstream fame on the Tv show called "mustached PI drives a ferrari in hawaii", which was later retitled Magnum PI, in which he starred for 10 season. After Magnum ,Selleck starred in various western movies later in his career, like a Benjamin button version of clint eastwood.

Years later selleck reflected on his sucessful years by saying "i smoked,i drank, i had unprotected sex, i won an emmy, and i shaved a few times......all and all my life was the shit"

TOM SELLECK QUOTES "IM A DAMN MUSTACHE MAVERICK!"

what do you think of red baron pizza?, and related questions, interview circa 1986:

"PEOPLE LOVE ME, AND THEY LOVE RED BARON FROZEN PIZZA, SO BASICALLY IM A DAMN NATIONAL TREASURE "

after his infamous interview in 1996:

"ROSIE ODONNEL IS JUST JEALOUS SHE CANT GROW A STACHE"

when asked why a man would carry a gun for protection:

"I DONT CARRY A GUN FOR PROTECTION BUT AS A MORE HUMANE OPTION INSTEAD OF MY HANDS"

 upon viewing a ten foot sheet cake made in his image:

"ROME WAS'NT BUILT IN A DAY, BUT THIS WAS"

1987 cigar affionado interview:

"IM NOT THE FUCKIN MARLBORO MAN!"

on his unrelated opinion of california wine:

"I LOVE BOXED WINE PREFERABLY ,BECAUSE I LIKE TO RECYCLE AND DRINK EXCESSIVLY"

when asked about his man plumage:

"BODY HAIR WAS CAVEMANS NATURAL PROTECTION, SO IM TELLING EVOLUTION TO GO SCREW ITSELF"

after rumors circulated he was the next National rifle president:

"I SINGLE HANDEDLY KEPT HAIR REMOVAL PRODUCTS ON THE BRINK OF BANKRUPTCY IN THE 80'S, I THINK I CAN HANDLE BEING NRA PRESIDENT"

his opinion of miami vice circa 1986:

"SUNNY CROCKETT DRIVES A FERRARI KIT...WHAT A DOUCHE"

after beating john forsythe for his 1984 emmy:

"I DONT KNOW WHO BLAKE CARRINGTON IS. BUT I SHOT J.R"

movie interview in 1987:

"LEONARD NEMOY WANTED TO CALL IT POLICE ACADEMY 6, BUT I SUGGESTED 3 MEN AND A BABY"

when asked what he did at college:

"I WAS GOING TO BE AN ARCHITECT BUT WHEN THEY SAID YOU COULDNT BUILD MOUNTAINS, I TOLD EM THEY WERE FULL OF SHIT, AND I LEFT "

movies and TV

MAGNUM P.I: sellecks hit show, declared  the best detective show ever, shoots people with a 45

 

THREE MEN AND A BABY: magnum, officer mahoney,  bartender sam malone, and a carboard cutout that caused an urban legend

QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER: selleck broadens his range and makes a movie of him shooting people with rifle

A SINGLE SHOT RIFLE!, AS IF GUN FIGHTS IN THE WILD WEST WERE FAIR TO BEGIN WITH

 

LAS VEGAS: replaced james cann as casino head on the wildly popular show

 

examples of badassedtry and amazing records

HAS APPEARED ON THE COVER OF PLAYGIRL 4 TIMES

OWNS A COLLECTION OF 350 GUNS, WHICH MEANS IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM IT WILL LITERALLY HAVE TO BE YOU AND WHAT ARMY

ONLY TWO TIME NATIONAL OUTRIGGERS CLUB VOLLEYBALL CHAMPION/ ONLY PLAYER TO ENTER COMPETITION CARRYING A LOADED PISTOL

MIAMI VICE CRASHED/BLEW UP 3 OF 4 STOCK FERRARI'S FOR VARIOUS EPISODES, WHILE MAGNUM P.I DESTROYED 5, NONE OF WHICH WERE FOR EPISODES, SELLECK JUST LIKED BLOWING SHIT UP

HAS STARRED IN 6 FAILED PRIMETIME TV SHOWS, WHICH DOESNT SOUND LIKE GOOD FEAT AT ALL UNTIL YOU CONSIDER THE LIST OF BADASS CHARACTER NAMES HE HAD ON THESE SHOWS

CHIEF.JESSE STONE

STONE COLD

SGT. EDDY BROCK

MARC BROLIN

TOM BOSTON

JACK MCLAREN