It's what you need and you ain't got. Call it cash, dough, scratch, bread, bucks, dinero, moolah, cheddar, greenbacks, Benjamins, big ones...they all mean the same thing: bits of paper that are the driving reason you get out of bed in the morning.
Quick: put your hand in your pocket. Feel that huge wad of bills? No? Get used to those feelings: an empty hand, and disappointment.
Money is inargueably great, but the division of it is downright sadistic. Odds are good that if you're reading this yourself (as opposed to having it read aloud to you by your man-servant Connor) you've got a lot less of the green stuff than you'd like.
As we've previously stated being poor sucks pretty hard, but worry not; we here at Cracked know economics inside and out, and are here to help.
Also apparently knowledgable: Illuminati.
Making money is tough, but thats not to say there aren't some tried and true methods for pocketing the greeen stuff.
Possibly the most powerful force in the galaxy, and if you paid even passing attention in high school math, you know that's not an exageration.
Pros: The best way in the world to make a genuinely unimaginable sum while other people handle all the actual responsibility. The numbers can be truely staggering.
Cons: You gotta have money to make money. 10% compounding interest should double a starting investment in less than 8 years, but if you've only got a few hundred bucks you might not see a cent after bank fees.
Man up, bitch.
Pros: No wait, no work, just plain old money for nothin'. Don't think to narrowly on this either: identity theft, mail fraud, and other white collar crime brings in the bread too.
Cons: Again, to really do it right you need a starting investment. Sure, anybody can walk into a liquor store with a brick in a sock and get a hundred bucks, but for some truely Oceans Eleven shenagians you're gonna need some resources at your disposal (even more so if you're going to partake in the be-all-end-all of theft crimes: embezzlement.)
Odds Shattering Luck
It could be a winning lottery ticket, a phsique that was made for professional basketball, or finding some junk in your attic that gets you on the season finale of "Antiques Roadshow". Whatever the circumstance, you did nothing to earn it.
Pros: No work, little to no starting investement, and, since you did nothing to earn it, no compulsion to show the slightest bit of fiscal restraint.
Cons: It won't happen to you.
Born Into It
Someone in your family tree managed to stumble into at leas 2, and probably all three of the above items, and now its time for you to live the good life.
Pros: What isn't great about being loaded for life without doing anything?
Cons: When the revolution comes, we're killin' you first.