The Oscars

The Oscars are awards handed out by a group of random people. However these random people are rich so getting their awards is instantly considered much more of an honour. In recent years the Oscars have tried more to appeal to the younger generation.

The Younger Generation: Loving Wolverine doing some ball room dancing.

Just thought we'd mention he won an Oscar.

Oh, and black face gets an Oscar nomination too.

Just The Facts

  1. The Oscars are an award ceremony set up in 1928 to honour achievment in film.
  2. Nower days they do similar providing the film is is released between October and January.
  3. Also they must not be animated or have Super heroes.
  4. Also Nicolas Cage won an Oscar once. No seriously, he used to be very good I hear.

This Years Oscars possibilities

Everybody's fine

Plot: From the star of Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockersand Stardust, comes Robert De Niro's next wacky comedy as he goes on a road trip to reunite with his family of B listers.

Why it may win an Oscar: The Oscar pannel and De Niro have formed a good relationship through their many similarities. They were at their best about a few decades ago. They both use their credability to glorify some of Martin Scorseesee's more bloody work (see: throwing cocaine on prosititues for no reason) and they have a bad tendancy to forget important facts, like for De Niro, the fact that he's an Oscar winner and doesn't need to do The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.


Plot: Reminding us the life of Amelia Airheart, and that she did something besides mysetriously disappearing and sparking a hundred conspiracy theories.

Why it may win Oscar: As mentioned above, showing that not only is she more famous than anyone else by doing what any of us could do, piloting a plane and never completing, but also that she could also do a lot of other stuff we can't do, even though it was nearly a century ago, and she was a woman in the deep South.


Plot: Continuing the "shit I can't think of anything, just do a damn biopic" theme, Ivictus looks at how Nelson Mandella united the racially divided South African nation through a mutual love of randomly kicking the crap out of foreigners legally by entering them in the Rugby World Cup (Rugby is American football only they don't where padding, it slows the beatings down)

Why it may win an Oscar: The film features Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandella who with the help of Matt Damon leads a rag tag team of underdogs. And they're using accents, just ask Kate Winslet about accents. Short of making the racially tense team gay there's little more they can do.


Plot: In the distant future man kind shows of it's epic technology and master minds to randomly blow stuff up in a forest.

Why is may win Oscar: After having basically offended or nearly killing everyone in Hollywood to make Titanic, Cameron was forced to go into exile for 10 years. Now he is eager to remind us he's king of the world.


Oscar snubs

Being comprised of old people and rich film critics, many films are often delibrately missed out prompting large critisism. In 2008, Clint Eastwoods Gran Torino was snubbed, under the logic that Eastwood having won multiple Oscars and still being a money maker, he was too awesome for the Oscars

Other films snubbed were Wall-E and The Dark Knight due to the fact they were released in the Summer, and the Oscar panel have bad memories, and Revolutionary Road as they had gotten sick of Leonardo DiCaprio by now.

Many have suggested that these films have a chance of success in other awards where the public may vote. This is little conselation to most, as most aren't based on a Stephenie Meyer book, or star Zach Efron.

For your consideration...

New Rules

For 2009 Oscars, the number of best Picture Nominee's will be increased to 10, rather than 5. This will allow more movies the right say "We so totally almost one it, I mean, we were nominated!" and will mean less cases of: DUDE!!!!!!!! HOW DID RDJR NOT GET NOT GET NOMINATED FOR IRON MAN!!!!! HE WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SEAN PENN!!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

Sadly this rule will unlikely stop Kanye saying how brilliant Penelope Cruz was while Meryl Streep is accepting.