Expresso is as close to consuming pure Columbian Cocaine as one can get without violating company guidelines (unless you work at a cocaine plant). Much like cocaine, you don't start work your way up. Observe..


Just The Facts

  1. Expresso is actually spelled Espresso, but unless you've had any, you would never have found this page otherwise.
  2. Expresso is popular at Ski Resorts, so people too poor to buy lift tickets can just sprint up the mountain.
  3. There was no "magic bullet". Kennedy's brain exploded, along with his kidney and his entire face after only 2 shots of expresso.
  4. Expresso is not a type of coffee, it is a brewing method, equivalant to a hot sweaty asshole forcing himself onto a bunch of mexican woman.
  5. "Espresso is made by forcing hot water under high pressure through tightly compacted and finely ground coffee"
  6. You thought I was kidding.

Should I really be drinking this stuff?

Sure! Expresso has been at the route of everything awesome about this society for hundreds of years! The Hindenburg? Directly caused by expresso! While up for interpretation as to the "awesome factor" associated with that event, you can't deny the energy displayed, and that's what I was getting at! Certainly not death.

Not death at all.

Patrick Bateman drank Expresso.