The Godfather

The Godfather is a sprawling tale which concerns the history and structure of organized crime in America, told through the trials and triumphs of the Corleone family.

Just The Facts

  1. The Godfather Part I is so brilliant, Stanley Kubrick believed it was possibly the greatest movie ever made.
  2. The Godfather Part II matches Part I in cinematic brilliance and manliness.
  3. The Godfather Part III is the ugly, ugly stepchild of the Trilogy. It is not invited to family reunions.
  4. Sicilians kick ass.

About The Godfather -or- How To Create a Masterpiece With Hair Gel and a Video Camera

Knives, sharks, doggie style, post-coitus bacon, and The Godfather Trilogy each share one trait. Men and women alike may enjoy them, but for men they mean something more: Beauty on a more spiritual level. The Godfather is a tale that not only offers a panoramic glimpse into the closed society of organized crime, and a commentary on American life, but also delves deep into the soul of every man and forces him to think, "Holy shit! Those guys have a lot of balls."

The first film in the trilogy received Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Adapted Screenplay. It was nominated for Best Romantic Love Scene, but that award was snatched up by Deliverance.

The Godfather is ranked as the second greatest film in American cinematic history, behind Citizen Kane on the AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies. However, AFI insiders claim that Citizen Kane played dirty: offering "personal services" to judges, slandering Sicily, and being filmed in black and white.

The Don and his LOLcat

With The Godfather, Francis Ford Coppola--you know him as the Director for the heart-warming family musical Apocalypse Now--tried to make a point about the banality of evil, that members of the underworld are not all eye-rolling, saliva-dripping goons. Touched, the saliva-dripping goon Salvatore "Sammy the Bull" Gravano said, "I left the movie stunned....I mean I floated out of the theater...for me, that was our life. It was incredible." He loved it so much in fact, that he dedicated his next three torture/killings to the beloved film.

The Godfather Part III -or- How To Take a Masterpiece and Smear It With Your Poo

Some critics claim that Part III was just misunderstood, intended to be less sprawling and more contemplative. Ok, misunderstood. Maybe, when Coppola began filming Part III, he misunderstood the epic beauty of the first two films, and in this fateful moment, decided to create a soap opera for Telemundo using a high school drama team for all supporting roles, and to write the screenplay by bouncing his dong up and down on a typewriter.

Consider yourself warned. Watching Parts I, II, then III is like having a threesome with Megan Fox and her secret twin sister Nympho Fox, then, instead of that sizzling plate of bacon on the night stand, you're gang-raped by her bodyguards.

It's just business, nothing personal.
Never go in against a Sicilian when a closed society ruled by vendetta, respect, fear, intimidation, murder, and death is on the line!