Rebecca Black: Friday

By the time you read this, you will have most likely have forgotten about Rebecca Black and the "song" that made her "famous". I am about to shatter whatever peace you have be able to find with a flood of negative emotion. Please, forgive me.

Disclaimer: This is only accurate 1/7 of the time.

Just The Facts

  1. Often called "the worst song ever".
  2. This seems even more impressive when you consider Justin Bieber also writes songs.
  3. Fuck Justin Bieber.

A Deconstruction of the "Lyrics"

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah...


7am, waking up in the morning

Okay, we've established that 7am is the morning. Not a bad start.


Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs

Well, that wont take long. You woke up with your hair proffesionally teased and with lip gloss on.


Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal

Yes Rebecca, a bowl is nessassary to eat cerial.


Seein' everything, the time is goin'

Okay, so you're not even attempting to rhyme now? Okay. Good to know.


Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'

And yet you have time to stare awkwardly at the camera and rattle of a list of things that are happening to you?


Gotta get down to the bus stop

Hey Rebecca, how come you're bus stop looks like a sign photoshoped onto giant toilet roll?


Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Whoa! What the fuck is a 13 year old doing driving that car!?

Kickin' in the front seat

Well, she' actually sitting in the front seat.


Sittin' in the back seat

See, they're standing not sitting. Are you confused which words correspond to which actions or something?


Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take?

Well, there is only one available seat left. So unless you're going to kick your friend out of the front seat so you can ride shotgun with the visibly mentally handycapped driver, this decision has been made for you.


It's Friday, Friday

Okay


Gotta get down on Friday

Is that some kind of sexual favour? Is Friday the name of a person you know?


Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend

You do know that Friday isn't the weekend right?


Friday, Friday

Oh, this again.


Gettin' down on Friday

Okay


Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Yep. Sure.

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

Okay, so now you're just shouting out random adverbs?


Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

I guess so.


Fun, fun, fun, fun

Oh good! Some random adjectives. Thanks for mixing it up a bit.


Lookin' forward to the weekend

I take that back.


7:45, we're drivin' on the highway

You've been driving for 12 hours now. And you havent been pulled over for the grossly underaged driver or the fact that your standing up in a moving veichle? Wow, you must have been filming this in Canada.


Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly

Great. We can add speeding to the list of reasons you should all be arrested and frisked by a police officer.

Fun, fun, think about fun

We're back on the fun thing?


You know what it is

Why would I know what it is? I have no fucking clue to what the past minute has been leading to.

I got this, you got this

WHAT HAVE WE FUCKING GOT!?


My friend is by my right

So your not going to tell me what it is we have got. Also, im sure the friend on your left feels neglected you might want to--


I got this, you got this

Yeah, can you maybe let me finish my--


Now you know it

...

Kickin' in the front seat

Whoa, under age driver boy has been replaced by seriotypical black chick and token Asian girl. Wait, where the fuck did he go? And why are you still driving his car?


Sittin' in the back seat

...standing.

Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take?

It really doesnt matter. I'm just throwing that out there.

It's Friday, Friday

Cool story bro.

Gotta get down on Friday

Get fucked.


Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend

Kill me now.


Friday, Friday

Please.

Gettin' down on Friday

What does that even mean!?


Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend.

If it means Friday will be over, then I would have to agree.

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

Back to the random words?


Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

Thought so.


Fun, fun, fun, fun

No.


Lookin' forward to the weekend

Fuck.



Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday

Irrellevent, but true.


Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')

Depends on where you are really, its still Thursday in Singapore. Did you even think about that?


We-we-we so excited

Are you stuttering? Probably from all that cocaine you were undoubtably snorting while riding in a stolen car driven by a pre teen.


We so excited

Ok.


We gonna have a ball today

hehehe... balls.


Tomorrow is Saturday

And with it comes the inevitable hangover and pregnancy scare.


And Sunday comes after...wards

Lets not get ahead of ourselves Rebecca. If you keep driving the way you are you might not make it to sunday.

I don't want this weekend to end

IT HASN'T FUCKING BEGUN YET! FUCKING FRIDAY IS NOT FUCKING PART OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WEEKEND!



R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all

W-what?


It's Friday, Friday

Still?


Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Also, where did all these kids come from? For the benifit of all involved, I hope they're there for some kind of mass suicide.

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

Yeah.
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

YEAH.


Fun, fun, fun, fun

Fuck this.

Lookin' forward to the weekend

Goodbye.


Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

*Gun cocks*


Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

*Gun shot*


Fun, fun, fun, fun

..............................


Lookin' forward to the weekend

................................