Steven Wright

Steven Wright is a comedian known for his surreal humor. He also paints.

Steven as a child

Just The Facts

  1. He is from Massachusetts, like many others
  2. He called his first album " I have a pony"
  3. His other album was called " I still have a pony"
  4. We doubt he literally had a pony
  5. Why did Steven Wright go to the bank? .... Because, he left the jello in the microwave!!!

To whom it may concern ?

Steven Wright was born sometime during the 20th century. He is a succesful stand up comedian known for his deadpan, lethargic voice, and nonsensical one-liners. He was the first man inducted into The Boston Comedy Hall of Fame. He also paints and writes songs, but those are a little less well known.

Dissecting a frog

In the next few sections, we will be breaking down his words, and trying to find the "meaning."

Here's the first-

"Four years ago... No, it was yesterday."

Well, here he's clearly hinting that he has created a machine to slow down the relative passing of time, therebye making it seem as if he is living longer. What an amazing invention.

I second

"I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were"

Notice how Information is capitalized. Information is clearly a private agency monitering every inch of the earth, and providing upper class citizens like Steven with critical information needed to stay on top.

Steven the 111rd

"I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it."

Now, here he's just being plain silly. This is one of his few "Gags." One of his few traditional style jokes. But still funny.

Episode IV-

''Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

Steven DOES have the time, because of his machine that slows down time. Don't waste your relatively little time scrolling back up if you don't remember.* Move along.

* you are not obligated to follow my instructions


"I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it."

I'm going to tell a very abstract joke here. Extremely abstract. There is no joke.



"When I go, I'm flying Air Bizarre. It's a good airline. You buy a one way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday, and they bring you back the previous Friday... That way you still have the weekend."

OHHH, Steven. Always finding ways to save time.