Celebrity Time Travelers

In the not too distant future those who can afford it ( celebrities, politicians, etc) are travelling to the past and changing history. Need proof? Look no further!

Just The Facts

  1. Time Travel is possible
  2. Celebrities have been seen
  3. These events could be future filming techniques. Why create the past if you can film IN the past

The Proof!

#1. Jack Black = Paul Revere?

Jack Black in his continuous effort at creating the ultimate reality has travelled back in time to the American Revolution. Perhaps getting stuck in the 1770s he decided to take an active role in the war. He tried to keep a low profile but his story would become American Lore!

Reevre

This is an actual portrait of Paul Revere by John Singleton Copley. Notice the pose, no historical figure would do such a ridiculous pose, further evidence Jack Black is fucking with our heads ... FROM THE PAST

Jack Black

Jack Black in the near past in almost the same post. Coincidence? I think not.

Animation

Finally by placing the image in the special Cracked Face Analyzer we can see ... it's a match!

#2. Douglas Bader = Dwight Kurt Schrute III?

Douglas Bader was one of the baddest motherfuckers of World War II. A RAF fighter ace Bader was finally shot down, some say by friendly fire, while over France. Not happy with Nazi prison chow he tried to escape multiple times until the Germans sent him to the infamous, unescapeable, POW camp at Colditz Castle. Oh and did I mention the little fact ... HE HAD NO LEGS!

Bader

Yes you read correctly ... I have no legs just two giant balls.

Dwight Kurt Schrute III aka Rainn Wilson. At some point in the future Dwight, I mean Rainn, travelled back into the past and presumbly donning a convincing good ol English gentlemanly accent joined the RAF.

Where as in the present I have two legs AND two giant balls

Animation

Then using the Cracked Face Analyzer we can see again ... it's a match!

#3.Nicole Kidman

On first inspection this picture just appears to be your average every day old timey snap shot of your average Swastika hockey team.



But stop! Wait who is to the right? Why its none other than Nicole Kidman moonlighting as a professional women's hockey player!



Then using the Cracked Face Analyzer we can see again ... it's a match!



So why did she go back to the turn of the century to play some slap stick? Escape from Tom? Research for an upcoming role? Only she knows ... and us.

#4.Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage Vampire

According to historian, Jack M���¶rd and by historian we mean crazy fool, the above picture is of Nicolas Cage circa 1870. He says that Cage is a vampire which is OBVIOUSLY a coverup for the Cage travelling back in time!

#5.Michael Cera

Michael Cera in Germany

This is a photo taken in 30s Germany at some sort of celebration dinner. Notice anything out of place? Go study those faces.

Cera

What about now?

It's Michael Cera! Travelling back in time to fill some period movie. This is probably the movie wrap party!

#5.Justin Bieber

Justin Beiber posing as a girl on a 60s Girl Scout promotion, or he is still a girl?

#6.Paul Mccartney as Obama's Mom

President Obama with his stepfather, Lolo Soetoro, left, his sister Maya Soetoro and his mother, Ann Dunham, center, in an undated family snapshot.

#7. Jay-Z robs the past for music ideas

Now we know where Jay-Z gets all his music ideas, he travels back in time! Check out this 1933 photo from Harlem! Jay-Z is just chilling probably with pockets full of jazz.

And we will just leave this one here:

Early Probes

This technology didn't come together right away, no before they sent people back in time, on mysterious missions from the future, they sent back probes often far back in the past.

One of these is a Sputnik type device that was captured in the painting the, Glorification of the Eucharist by Ventura Salimbeni. In the year 1600 they were still partying like it was 1599 but good old Salimbeni finally put down the wine long enough to paint the mysterious object that just "appeared one day" out of the blue.


Move along nothing to see here!

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