Urban Outfitters

Acting as a watering hole for hipsters, Urban Outfitters has been too cool for you since 1970.

This was the 3rd result in a google image search of Urban Outfitters.

Just The Facts

  1. The cost of a shirt here ranges from ten dollars to the price of your left femur.
  2. The average shopper suffers from an inferiority complex that can only be satiated through the purchase of mustache-themed items.
  3. Urban Outfitters sells an uncomfortable amount of mustache themed items.

Basic Info

Serving as an orgy of music, clothes and pretention, Urban Outfitters is the hipster's Mecca. Hundreds travel from the nearest Starbucks to visit this magnificent place of worship in hopes of buying that week's it-shirt - probably something plaid.

Urban Outfitters prides itself on its eclectic array of merchandise. This ranges from ironically amusing to really fucking weird.

The latter.

If you scour the racks thoroughly, most of the time your efforts will be rewarded with something socially acceptable to wear.

Most of the time.

Upon crossing the threshold, you'll know immediately whether or not you belong in this world of plaid, ironic 90s sitcom tees and apple store employees. Spoiler Alert, average person: You don't.

You'll feel like you aren't cool enough to be standing with the rest of the shoppers, and you'll be right. But when you decide to go try on that neon yellow beanie anyway - when you decide to fully immerse yourself into this foreign culture, you'll start to believe that maybe you were wrong to make fun of hipsters and their stores all along. They're all wonderful in their own way. You'll buy that beanie, and that vegan cookbook, too. This is the point when the rest of the world kindly requests that you move to Williamsburg with the rest of your kind and leave us to live in peace.

Urban Outfitters Inc.

UO is a corporation. Yes, my plaid-beanie wearing friends, their goal is to make money from you. According to their website, Urban Outfitters "established ability to understand our customers and connect with them on an emotional level is the reason for our success." They thrive on the fact that our generation emotionally connects with a $40 "Drink Up Bitches" shirt.

Finally, someone understands me.

Another brand operated by Urban Outfitters Inc. is Free People, a store that is essentially Urban Outfitters, but without the hipsters. So, it just has a lot of nice floral shirts.


Bearing in mind what has been previously said, when stuff goes on sale, all bets are off. One of the major turn-offs of UO is its costliness - but when everything is $10 or under, that neon yellow beanie starts to look pretty good.

Asking $70 for a plain grey sweatshirt is a bit excessive, but most of the time you can find some nice stuff.

Most of the time.