Sex Ed

The Stupidity of Sex Education and How We Should Fix It, Lest Our Teen Pregger Rates Will Go Down

whom we wish our sex ed teacher looked like

we also wish we could learn about sex in the form of Glee-style song

unfortunatly...this is what we get. ah..i love mean girls.

Just The Facts

  1. No one learns sex education from the actual class dedicated to sex education
  2. Abstinence is not 100%. It's a great idea, but really, it's just that: a great idea.
  3. Stop blaming TV because your child is a 12 year old whore. Blame yourself as a parent for not educating them.

Sex Education: The Class

...yeah that's pretty much what they're getting at

I remember being a young lass in middle school, forced by my mother to take sex education in the seventh grade. I knew the basics, but even though I REALLY didn't want to go, I thought "hey! maybe I'll learn something!". All it did was scare the shit out of me. Have you ever seen a picture of a dick with gential warts? It's horrifying. Just so you can share my pain, here's a picture:

huh..wonder how he got an std wih that little pecker...

The next year, my mom decided (because she hates my guts) to make me take the class again. It was the same thing. They told us: don't do it! abstinence! STDs! STDs! STDs! HERPES! SYPHILIS WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN! (actually, I added that last one. I read PEEPS by Scott Westerfeld. Good book, very informative. Go read it). They taught us nothing about birth control (oh wait! they did: "use a condom" is very specific isn't it?), different types of birth control, or even alternative methods of intimacy without sex. Fail...Epic.

All South Central counties have teen pregnancy rates higher than the 2004 state rate of
62.4 pregnancies per 1,000 females ages fifteen to nineteen. As of 2004, county-level rates
ranged from a low of 63.1 per 1,000 in Harnett County to a high of 95.8 per 1,000 in Robeson
County; the average rate among all South Central counties was 77.5 (down from 85.3 in 2001).
The average teen pregnancy rate among white teens in the South Central region was 69.4 per
1,000, compared to 51.7 per 1,000 statewide. Among minority teens, the average pregnancy rate
was 85.1 per 1,000 in the South Central region, compared to 83.4 per 1,000 statewide.
Approximately 29% of pregnancies among South Central teens between the ages of thirteen and
nineteen in 2004 were repeat pregnancies.
Key contributing factors identified by meeting participants include lack of recreational
activities; lack of parental supervision, involvement, and communication; lack of accurate and
comprehensive information on sexuality; inadequate male involvement and accountability; older
male partners and minimal involvement of teen fathers; intergenerational teen pregnancies; and
individual attitudes and behaviors such as low self esteem and lack of forethought regarding
contraceptive use.
(Abigail Haydon, Department of Maternal and Child Health UNC-Chapel Hill, Teen Pregnancy in South Central North Carolina, July 2006)

Hey, guess where I live! That's right. I live in South Central North Carolina. In my senior homeroom alone, three girls out of about fifteen classmates were preggers or already had children. That's a-freaking-lot. I swear, it's in the water here. It's why I drink bottle water.

make the smart water choice: purity you can taste, hydration you can feel

What Sex Education SHOULD Be

Sex Education is just that: EDUCATION. I didn't learn anything from my sex education class. Everything I learned, I learned from friends, TV, Spencer's (the store), and various internet sites. My mom is so fridgid sometimes that she doesn't even want to talk about it. I said blow job in front of her a few years ago and she put her fingers in her ears and went "LALALALALALALALALALALA!". I think that both parents and children should both take a REAL sex education class. It all starts in the home.

If parents have this mentality that if they talk about sex with their children, the child will think it's okay. That's just...absurd.

absurd like Lady Gaga's shoes

It's the parent's duty to make sure to feed, cloth, provide for, and prepare your child for life. Sex is one of the biggest parts of life and if your children aren't prepared, then what's their future going to be like?


In theory, it's a great idea. No sex! Don't do it! Wait till marriage! Honestly though, who are you fooling? You're teenager probably ditched their purity ring and is out doing the nasty right now. You can't stop your children from having sex if they want to, but you can make sure they're fully prepared for what they're getting into. Even if they are practicing abstinence, you can't keep them ignorant of safe sex or the functions of sex. It makes no sense. Do you WANT their honeymoon to be awkward? No...I didn't think so.

Things That Are Taken Out of Sex Ed Because of Overly Religious and/or Psychotic People Who Wish To Keep Us Ignorant For No Apparent Reason

  • The proper way to use/put on a condom (trust me, it's more of an issue than you think it is)
  • Different types of birth control
  • The use of sex toys (come on, if you go into a sex shop and have to ask "gee what is this?", there's a problem)
  • Gay/Lesbian sex
  • pregnancy signs
  • The use of a pregnancy test
  • the names and functions of STDs
  • emotional attatchments to the person you have sex with
  • fetishes (come on, feet?)
  • And various websites/places they can go to for information (,, planned parent hood, watch tthe tyra banks show...I'm just sayin. Tyra will tell you things man)

like no one would want to talk sex with Tyra