iPad 2

The ipad 2 is the second product in the line of square shaped cracker like devices released by Apple

It seems to me that buttons are Steve Jobs worst enemy, right next to uncovered necks.

Just The Facts

  1. Its thinner the the iphone 4
  2. It was released on March 11th 2011
  3. Steve Jobs no longer needs a excuse to peddle merchandise


The iPad 2 comes with so many great new features that the first iPad forgot because it was an asshole. For instance, the iPad 2 has 2 FUCKING CAMERAS. This gives it the ability to take pictures, and "Facetime" with other people who went out and bought this Roman like tablet. According to Apple, its nine times faster then the first iPad, which sounds like a good thing untill you realize that they intently gimped the first iPad to make this one seem like the greatest thing in the world. I love Apple, but a part of me thinks they have invented real time machines, but are waiting to build more, crappy time machines that only let you go forward until they release the good ones.

Also, its 33% thinner then the first iPad, which means if you ever drop it, it is going to snap in half. Its thinner then the iPhone 4, and that was thinner then a god dammned pencil. I don't know how they fit all of those electronics in such a small space, so I have to assume that Apple invented, and then marketed magic.


Like anything made by Apple, the iPad has some things that make it even more envy provoking to the people who watch you use it. They have something they call the "smart cover", which is a magnetic faceplate that automatically attaches to the front of the iPad. If you put the device on, it literally turns off you device, but taking it off turns it on. Even after extensive research I have not found why this is needed, but it looks awesome, therefore it is essential. They are available in five colors which are black, dark blue, brown, white and red. The good thing about this cover is that a small portion of each cover sold goes to fund AIDS research, probably because they fell guilty about already having the cure and are just holding it until the market gets better.

One of the next biggest accessories for the iPad 2 is the new dock. You may be asking yourself "Hey, I have the first iPad, can I just use that dock?" Well reader who was sad enough to buy an iPad, no, you cant. The iPad two was evidently so revolutionary in its design, Apple had to create a whole new docking station or it. That means you have to spend even more money for shiny plastic.


The iPad 2 does at least come with the normal iPod applications. You get Safari, Mail, Photos, Video, Youtube, Music, Itunes, App Store, iBooks, Maps, Notes, Calendar, Contacts, Camera, Photo Booth, and Spotlight Search. It has all the capabilities of the iPhone, but is hard to carry around It also has the size of a laptop, but none of the power. People tell me that some things should never be mixed, well this is one of them.