WebMD is a website of pseudo-professionals attempting to ply their trade. In everyday terms, they're a bunch of douchebags trying to convince you that your herpes is actually perfectly normal.

You're lying, you fucking assholes.

Just The Facts

  1. WebMD is fake.
  2. WebMD is free, so what do you have to lose?
  3. We recommend that your docter be consulted before attempting a WebMD death regimen.

What WebMD really is (SPOILERS!)

Obviously, WebMD stands for Web Medical Docters, but we prefer to think of it as "Wow, (they've caused) Many Deaths." They are a bunch of fakers trying to practice medical-ninja skills by faking information. Obviously the US Government has, on this issue, closed its eyes, turned around, and started whistling loudly. However, we can do some simple things to overthrow the WebMD reign of terror. These are listed later on. WebMD causes many things, including erectile dysfunction, terror boners, and priapism (possibly, if you have a strange fetish for diseases. Sickophiliac? Perfect in many ways). Do not use WebMD more then prescribed by your docter, as you may end up with hypochrondia? A little sore down there? Must be HIV (not to be offensive to the 40 million people who currently have HIV/AIDS). Now, you know the ways of the WebMD Ninja. Now you must overthrow them.

For $24.99, you can stop the WebMD reign of terror!

1) Don't fucking use WebMD.

2) Boycott them.

3) If your docter uses WebMD, sue them for medical malpractice (this one is actually pretty serious)

4) Um, I'm required to have five reasons, so, to stop the WebMD reign of terror, I dunno. Water bombs?

5) Disregard all their advice and go shoot yourself. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man.