Grooming

Grooming is the art of looking fresh and clean. Despite being a total pain in the ass, good grooming skills are fucking mandatory in modern society.

Just The Facts

  1. Everyone can totally notice that long nose-hair you didn't notice was jutting out of your nostril.
  2. All Axe Body Spray flavors smell like musky ammonia.
  3. Density of chest hair in men is measure on a scale from none to Burt Reynolds.

So You Want a Neck Beard?

For the love of God, don't do it!

We know what you're thinking, and no, growing a neckbeard will not make your hideously large goiter less noticable. If anything, you're just going to draw more horrified stares by doing this. It's a lot like a comb-over, rather than hiding anything, you've now made it appear as if your throat is infested with parasites made entirely out of vaseline and pubic hair.