Sandra Bullock

In the beginning, there was Sigourney Weaver. Now we have Milla Jovovich. Sandra Bullock's had a chance to be immortalized in the Mount Rushmore of flat-chested action stars; but something went wrong along the way...

Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant in Resident Evil 5!  In Theatres Friday!

Before - 'That's some badass bus driving Ms. Crabtree'

Now - 'Oh...were you standing there the whole time?'

Just The Facts

  1. In 2007 she was ranked as the 14th richest female celebrity with an estimated fortune of $85 million.
  2. Right now you're wondering how in 2007 she was ranked as the 14th richest female celebrity with an estimated fortune of $85 million.
  3. Due to her blandness, people assume she's Canadian - but in reality, she's from Virginia.
  4. She's not in 'My Best Friend's Wedding'. That's Julia Roberts.
  5. She's not in 'I Love Trouble'. Julia Roberts again.
  6. She's in 'Notting Hill'....wait....no....yes?....no....Stupid Julia Roberts takes all of her best roles!
  7. Is married to Jesse James (the cowboy...not the motorcycle guy)

The next Meryl Streep...

...is Kate Winslet. But that does not bother Sandra Bullock. With the millions she makes and the MTV Movie awards she collected for Speed, along with that golden globe she picked up for Miss Congeniality, Sandra is content with knowing she has a good 2 years left of making a few more contrived romantic comedies. She tried to have a go at actual acting in 'Crash', playing a racist wife of a district attorney. Unfortunetly, you really had to work hard to suspend your belief, believing Brendan Fraser was an actual district attorney. She went back to her usual roles of playing some woman who balances being quirky with nagging. Sometimes she's in a thriller...but so is Jodie Foster (and you know how many Jodie Foster thrillers you've actually watched).

The best way to describe Sandra Bullock is that she's like a baby turtle. She's cute when your bastard college roomate gives her to you on your 21st birthday. She doesn't do much, but you're still paying attention to how adorable and lovable she can be for just being there. Before you know it, her tank is too small and you wonder when she grew too big for it. You buy her a new and expensive tank and go back to your usual routine of ignoring her. Eventually the tank smells so bad, you have to go out of your way to dump it out and clean it. That is the only time you pop up to see her. She's such a cumbersome chore.

In the end, love her or hate her, you probably don't do either. She makes movies and they're out there. That's it.