Sailor Moon
Sailor Moon is a anime kids show that ran in the '90s. At least, we think it's a kid's show...
Just The Facts
- Notably the most popular and addicting series to come from Japan, with 200 Japanese episodes (182 in English) on TV, 18 books, 25 musicials, and three movies. This covers the show.
- There are ten Sailors, named after 8 planets and moon as well as a chibi moon.
- Every guy is either a dick or a nerd, with little-to-no exceptions.
- This show should not be watched at night without headphones whilst still living with your parents. The author learned this first hand.
Just the Weirdness (And the Story, too)
Based off the popular comic book series "Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon", Sailor Moon (real name apparently "Serena") was pretty much every grade-school girl's favorite show. Why? Because half the time they're talking about cute boys, shopping, and being famous. And the other half consists of, well, crying.
And making this face.
Her friends are about as whiney and mindless as she is. The exception is what seems to be the only guy in the school, Melvin. And, being the world of Sailor Moon, the guy is a socially awkward nerd. And a stalker, which needs to be mentioned.
"Here's some pictures of you showering."
But, despite being a complete wimp/priss, Serena had freaking super powers. Which are pretty much useless, seeing as she doesn't do much else as Sailor Moon. Even after the cat "Luna" gives her pep talks, every episode it seems she's saved by "Tuxedo Mask." Or, in layman's terms: she always needs saving.
This happens often.
But that apparently didn't keep the girls away! Watching the pretty girls fighting evil-doers kept them glued to the tube. The unfortunate older brothers having to sit through this while waiting for Dragonball Z were treated to what can only be said as their first strip show.
I really wish I was kidding.
Sexual Subtlety (Minus the Subtle)
Where do I begin.
The Transformation Scenes
Japanese Censorship
Anytime that they were in danger, any of the sailors could use the mighty pens and say some really silly catchphrase. Within 30 seconds, the Sailors change out of their school sailor uniforms into...well, sailor uniforms.
GENIUS!
Freeze frame at any point, and you'll get some very, very weird thoughts in your head. With the, you know, addition of being completely undressed and exposed in all their girly wonder. Several boys, including the band Bare Naked Ladies, like them a little too much.
Boom Anime babes, all you need is freeze frame.
Devices
As with all standard girl anime, the girls can change only with the help of a relic that the damn cat can make appear from out of nowhere. The same some silly catch phrase and change into their sailors. Now, look at the pen.
As a kid, you can't see it. But as an adult, you question how this went by unnoticed. This pen actually changes Sailor Moon into other people. Yes, they all wear skirts, too.
The Lesbian Sailors
Coming out (literally) in the 90th episode, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are lesbians.
Hell freakin' yes!
However, the English dubbed version has the characters played low key. What do I mean?
They're cousins.
This doesn't work with what a kid's show is supposed to display, and they do their best to cover this up. However, flirting with each other and getting close is kind of hard to cover up. No doubt this made girls like girls, thus making guys very happy.
It's ok, they're just close cousins...really close...
The Popularity (Of Unrealistic Expectations)
Oh Sweet Jesus...
As with anything that we grew up with, some people will just not let it go and thus it still remains popular. Anime conventions are filled to the brim with many, many cosplayers dressed as the man moons (sadly). They all still have the hopes and dreams that some guy in a tuxedo and a mask (strangely called simply by that) will take her away.
It's not necessarily a bad thing as much as something that some people over-obsess greatly with. But there isn't anything out there THAT bad...right...?
Ah, shit.
I remain amused that the Americans would rather kids watch barely concealed incest than lesbians. This is not Earth Logic.
ReplyThe manga the anime was based on was much better. Sailor Moon (Usagi) wasn't as big a cry baby, the plot was amazing, and this manga was actually a sequel to another manga! Sailor Venus was the main character of the first manga.
ReplyIt might have been funnier if they were termed as "kissing cousins";)
ReplyFun fact: When this show aired in the early 90's in Sweden they dubbed the Japanese show directly, rather than editing it, meaning that as a 4-year-old I saw things that would apparently scar american children for life.
ReplyThis is actually about the dub. In the original, they get their weapons from arcade machines, she transforms into a boy, and the series spawned so many hetai doujins. :\
ReplyIt was orginally written for teen girls (the manga) and the anime was adapted for teen boys because the studeo believed there were not enough girls who watched anime. God only knows why the US made it a kids' show.
ReplyI think this is called soft hentai or something similar. Lol!;)
ReplyIn the 4th Season of the Cartoon they introduced the dream-boy Helios{ who transformed into the WInged Horse Pegasus which was a cutsey version of Thundercat's Mumm-Ra's trasformation]. This dream/horse dude did not use his powers to the fullest. I mean, as a dream type he could have invaded people's sleep and trrapped them in delusional nightmares. He could even menataly control them if he wanted too. A fight between him and DC's Dr.Destiny could have been in order. But, horsey decided to be a cutsey and not a kick ass. With Helios the 4th season brought in a really sickening character: sone ole guy dressed yo like a Catholic Bishop. That was blasphemy and it harkened back to the evi days of the 1600s when the Japanese authorities forced Christians to stamp on Crosses{ by the way there is an ANime version of the Old Testament and the Nativity Story. It was good as anime goes, praticularly that the characters did not make odd faces}. I seriously should have been contacted as a writer for the $th season of Sailor Moon. Under me: no anti-Catholic stuff and a much more powerfull Helios.
ReplyHelios didn't do anything because Nehalena kind of had his body and tipping her off as to where his soul was would have been some bad shit.
This is true. When I was seven and the president's state of the nation address was showing so I couldn't watch this show, I cried the whole day. Good times.
ReplyI don't get it. All I see is a pen.
ReplyKind of weaksauce, imao
Replyso true! hahahaha
Replyhahahaha I loved this!!!!
Replygood job
Reply