Takeshi Kitano

Takeshi Kitano is best known as an actor and director, notabally for his roles in Battle Royale, Zatoichi and Johnny Menomic, alright, maybe not the last one. He has an extremely deadpan style, his movies often feature long stretches where no one speaks or moves in any way, staring vacantly ahead. Bizzarely, people who watch his movies have complained of doing the same thing while watching, leading us to belief he might be some sort of Japanese Voodoo Magician.

Born in Tokyo in 1947, he got started in comedy while working as an elevator operator in a nightclub, one night one of the clubs comedians was sick and Takeshi took to the stage in his place, this involved elbowing other wannabe comedians in the face, tieing their shoelaces to their chairs so they fell over and having his sexy but sassy female sidekick distract them to make sure Takeshi got to stage first, we imagine. In 1970 he formed a comedy duo with Senzaburo Fukami called The Two Beats, this is the origin of his name 'Beat' Takeshi, not because he's pro wife beating, you're thinking of Sean 'Beat' Connery.

 

His first major movie role was in 1983's Merry Christmas Mr Lawerence, where he played a POW Camp Sergeant, this movie also features a mid 30s David Bowie playing a young British schoolboy, complete with shorts and cap, in a scene that impressively manages to be even more disturbing then the ones involving ritualised suicide.

Kitanos first movie as a Director was six years later, Violent Cop, where he played the titular violent cop, a role which called for violence. HIs first international hit was 1993's Sonatine, check out this scene from it: www.youtube.com/watch

 

Sonatine is probably the definitive Kitano movie. It's bleak and nihilistic, but also full of humour and beauty. With an appreciation for the moment that can only come from a Japanese director, it's reminescent of the work of Ozu or Suzuki.

Probably his most famous movie is 2003's Zatoichi which won all sorts of fantastic awards, Palme D'or's, Golden Bear's, all sorts. He played Zatoichi, a blind samurai who had already been featured in many movies and TV shows. The film was later remade for an American audience and released under the title Ben Affleck's Daredevil. Here's a scene where he proves that the true master samurai relies not on sight, proves it by killing a bunch of guys that is. (warning:awesome) www.youtube.com/watch

He is also the creator of Takeshi's Castle/Takeshi no Chasenjo, probably the greatest TV show ever. This show had different formats when it was released in different regions, we're going to focus on the UK version because that one's the best, mainly because of Craig Charles commentary. Takeshi plays a Count and in each episode 100 contestants are given the challenge of reaching his Castle. The contestants have to make it through a series of painful and embarrasing obstacle courses, often facing off against the various freaks (green guy, Kabuki demon, white dude) that Takeshi has employed to defend his fortress.

Anyone who made it through to the castle had to take on Takeshi himself and his 'Royal Guard' in an exciting showdown where they fired water pistols from carts. Each cart had a thin ring of paper on it, when this was broken they were out of the game. Usually less then 10 people had made it this far and find themselves overwhelmed by Takeshi and his crack forces who took a sadistic pleasure in destroying all opposition. According to commentator Craig Charles there has never been a winner of Takeshi's Castle, although in several episodes you can clearly see that there are winners. However Charles always announces "No winners this time" so it's canon.

In 1986 Taito decided to make an adaptation of Takeshi's castle for the Famicom, however Kitano got involved in the development and the result is one of the strangest games ever made. Instead of having any connection to the show whatsoever the player took on the role of an ordinary Salaryman who had to find treasure, which naturally involves singing karaoke and beating up yakuza.

Completion of the game requires several unorthodox uses of the Famicom system, such as using the second controller microphone to speak while playing pachinko, or not touching the controls for 60 minutes. The player must also maneuver a hang-glider to complete a side-scrolling shooting game, made extremely difficult because the controls do not allow the player to move upwards on the screen. Minor details such as not quitting the salaryman job, not getting a divorce, or not beating up the old man who provides the treasure map, can prevent the player from reaching the ending.