Falco was the stage name for Johann (Hans) Hölzel, Austria's first international pop star.
Recognized as a musical prodigy at an early age (The Vienna Music Academy confirmed he had perfect pitch when he auditioned for them at age five), Falco released 12 albums (wait, really? 12?) over a two decade career. However, if you're American, you probably only know this about him:
Also, we should point out that he released an album called Weiner Blut, that features a song cover from a band who is named after a famous dildo from literature. We absolutely did not make any of that up. Also, dongs.
Most artists and people of note get a statue, or at least a street named after them. Falco got a staircase. A staircase that goes nowhere in particular. A staircase with this poignant to the point of absurdity dedication:
"Falco took the attitude of a whole generation and brought it to the world. He was Austria's first and probably only international pop star."
Tell me that isn't the saddest thing you've ever read about a European pop star that didn't involve a cheesburger.
Also, as if to add insult to injury, the first musicians inspired to devote a tribute song to him was the fucking Bloodhound Gang-
Ten years later, San Francisco adopted a sister staircase, but it's very likely that it's existence is a prank by an artist collective. Even in death, Falco can't get a break. Don't turn around, indeed.