Blue People

Years of obsession with smurfs and smurfs on roids, the Na'vi, have left other blue peoples with little attention. So here we present those who live in the smurfs shadow, the Blue people!&&(navigator.

Just The Facts

  1. Smurfs and their beefcake cousins the Na'vi hog all the limelight
  2. Blue people exist around the world
  3. non-smurfs don't get any props

Smurfs + Thundercats = Na'vi

The great Internet prophet Will Wheaton once Twited, "The best thing about Avatar is that it imagines a world where a program to breed Thundercats with Smurfs has been successful. SCIENCE!" which is so true it made our head explode! It also inspired this kickass graphic by Theodor:

Smurfs

So let's move away from these blue freaks and on to the other Blue People of this World!

smurf

Although their women were hot!

Hindu Gods

If circumstances have you on an Indian "Who wants to be a millionaire " game show then it is vital that you know one important question: "Why are Indian Gods Blue?" Well my friend we're prepared to share this secret, Blue is the color of the sky, blue is the color of the water, basically blue is everywhere, just as the mighty Hindu Gods are everywhere, watching you!

hindu God

You should also know the God Rama holds a bow and arrow in his right hand

Blue Man Group

blue man group

The Blue Man group is acutally a lie. In the beginning there were four men Chris Wink, Matt Goldman, Phil Stanton and Phil's brother Matt Stanton. They formed the Blue Man Group and found a niche market, a market that the world craved like Martha Stewart craves crafts. What did they discover? Well people want to see bald blue men bang shit and make music, thus the blue man group was formed.

After they made a few million dollars the original group looked at each other and came to a stunning realization, "no one knows what we look like!" After this revelation they stopped performing and hired a bunch of guys to do their job for them. Because hey banging shit is fun but it gets old fast.

Paul Karason

Paul

Paul Karason had a problem, a skin problem. Almost 20-years ago Karason had an embarssing rash. His skin was red, itchy, and driving him insane. Desperate he did research and found an old cure advertised in turn of the century magazines, colloidal silver miracle cure, which is made by extracting silver from metal.

Looking for relief, Karason drank the concoction and rubbed it on his skin something the U.S. Food and Drug Administration does not recommend. His skin slowly turned blue until at almost 60-years he looks like papa smurf but hey he doesn't itch anymore.

Tuareg

Tuareg

The blue men of the desert are the Tuareg, a nomadic group of people in the Sahara whose traditional territories included Mali and parts of Niger, Morocco, and Algeria. Their tribal garments were made from cloth died from indigo. Since it's you know the desert the Tuareg people rarely bathe and the indigo was taken into their skin giving it a blue tinge and also being absorbed into the blood.

The Fugates

In the early 1800s the Fugates settled in the mountains of Kentucky. Attracted by the moonshine, banjos and the absence of that pesky taboo against marrying the cousins, the Fugates put down roots.

Sometime around the 1830s a groom from the Fugates and a blushing bride from the Smiths, another hillbilly clan in the Kentucky mountains, married. The happy couple would have been just another back country family if they had not won the genetic lottery. See both the Smiths and the Fugates had a recessive gene that causes a rare disease known as hereditary methemoglobinemia, which we'll call met-H. The chances of two people actually having this gene meeting, having sex are insanely low, yet the stars aligned and in 1832 the first blue baby, Mary Fugate, was born.

Met-H causes your blood to appear a nice chocolate color but instead of looking like you're full of shit brown blood gives the appearance that your skin blue. In the great tradition of Kentucky mountain men the Fugates kept it in the family with cousin marrying cousin ensuring that the mountains were filled with blue men for generations. For over a hundred years the Blue hillbillies ruled the mountains of Troublesome Creek until word of their condition reached the ears of one Dr. Madison Cawein.

Cawein had recently read about methemoglobinemia cases that had been successfully treated in Native Americans in Alaska. He travelled to the back country and was able to convince the reclusive Fugates to try the cure. Within minutes the medicine took affect with the blue coloring literally being pissed out of their bodies. For the first time in their lives the Fugates were a normal pink.

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