Assuming you have a TV, It’s very likely you’ve formed an opinion on Bajan model and songstress, Rihanna. Shes sold over twelve million albums and over 10 million singles, since 2005.

Just The Facts

  1. You can name at least one Rihanna song.
  2. You secretly like at least one Rihanna song.
  3. When you think of her, umbrella ella ella eh eh or chris brown immediatly comes to mind.
  4. She is one of the two female artists this decade to attain the most Hot 100 #1s.

Rihanna's Rise To Stardom

Before fame, Rihanna, was little ol' Robyn Fenty in Barbados. Singing poor covers of Mariah Carey songs.


But one day famous record producer, Evan Rogers, was vacationing in Barbados with his wife. A friend of Rihanna's set up a meeting with them. Originally, Rihanna was in a girls group, like Destiny's Child.

Like Destiny's Child!

Like Destiny's Child!

But unlike Destiny's Child, the other girls didn't even have a chance to fade into the shadows while Rihanna only becomes a bigger star. Evan knew he wanted Rihanna when he saw her and heard her sing. She went back and fourth from Barbados to the US, for a year, recording demos. She finally got to meet up with a record label. She performed for Def Jam and they loved her. One of the demos she recorded would be her first big hit, Pon De Replay. Her first album, Music of the Sun, was doing well for a debut album, but it was not critically acclaimed - at all.


The media did not like the at the time called "bubblegum pop queen" criticizing her music to her style. She wasn't the most like by those from Barbados either. But this did not phase Rihanna, she lashed back at the media -

"They all hate me. I didn't have to talk about them. I didn't have to even mention that I'm from Barbados. But I do and people kind of take it for granted. They hate me. They talk shit about me all the time. But I'm like, "Whatever. I'm still doing this cause I love to do it and you're not going to stop me".

Then the media fought back, saying things such as "If God didn't give us Rihanna, he would've given us someone else. Don't you ever think you're irreplaceable, Rihanna!"

Thank you, God, for giving us thy Rihanna.

But despite not being irreplaceable, Rihanna did not go to the left to the left (c wut i did thar?), she only went up. By the time the media cooled down, Rihanna was finished with her second album, A Girl Like Me.

The album produced hits such as S.O.S, which samples Soft Cell's tainted love, Break it Off, and Unfaithful.

Good Girl Gone Bad Album

After A Girl Like Me, Rihanna was ready to make the album that will make her a certified superstar, Good Girl Gone Bad. The title was surely appropriate. It gave her an entirely new image, from bubblegum pop princess, to superstar and sex icon.

I'm pretty sure its a damn good transformation.

The album was huge. Critically and commercially successful. She worked along the likes of Jay-Z, Kanye West, Justin Timberlake, Ne-Yo, The Dream, and many more. She was like a sexy version of Midas, except everything she touched turned into a hit. Producing, eight, yes, EIGHT singles. Every single one was a hit, not even counting Live Your Life with T.I. or her newest hit, Run This Town by Jay-z featuring her and Kanye West. The album has gotten her 9 Grammy nominations.

One of the singles, the first one actually, was a worldwide hit. Topping the charts in every single fucking country.

Lets see if you can guess what it is. Got it yet? Let me give you a hint, ella ella eh eh eh

You have to give her props, she made umbrellas sexy.

It featured rap legend, Jay-Z, and it is stuck in your head forever. It has everything, Rihanna dancing raunchy on umbrellas, arguably the most memorable and catchy lyrics (Tell me you haven't looked at an umbrella and thought..umbrella ella ella eh eh eh), not to mention a hot Bajan accent to make "Come here to me, you can always come here to me" sound like "Cum into me, you can always cum into me". It won her her first Grammy.

One of the other things the media took notice of was her tattoos, she currently has twelve(noticeable) tattoos.

Her most famous tattoo is the plethora of stars down her back.

Also, she did have nude pictures leaked


There was also an supposed sex tape with Chris Brown, but that turned out to be a porn star who looks a shitload like Rihanna in night vision.



The Chris Brown Incident

If you own tv, have ever gone on the internet, listened to the radio, gone outside -- well, if you haven't been living under a rock for the past year, you KNOW about the Chris Brown incident.

According to the police report, they were on the way to the grammys and Rihanna read a disturbing text message, banged her hands on the dashboard, then this upset beat-her-down Brown, how dare she catch him cheating on her. What a bitch. So as they drove on, he beat her senselessly. Scratching her, biting her, punching her, and eventually choking her till she blacked out. Contrary to popular belief, Rihanna did not go back to him (though, she does want the restraining order removed), and she did try to fight back. She tried to gouge his eyes out with her heel, but he ultimately overpowered her.

This gave him major douchebag reputation.

Artwork by renowned artist, Perez Hilton

You have to admit, that picture is pretty correct, after he did this

The infamous TMZ police photo of her after the beating

Currently, Chris Brown got off easy, and was sentenced to community work such as scrapping off graffiti(Cute little fact, Graffiti happens to be the title for his next album) and picking up trash in virginia. Hes also on probation for 5 years and cannot talk to Rihanna or communicate in any way at all, or else hes breaking the restraining order. He recently went on Larry King Live and told absolutely nothing. If you want a summary, it involved his mother saying how could he is, his lawyer saying how good he is and how hes a son to him, and him saying how deeply sorry he is -- to his fans, not Rihanna.

Sky blue bowties are a sign of a changed man.

Rihanna recently starred in Jay-Z's run this town video, has stayed mum about the incident, and posed topless(with pasties) for Italian Vogue.

This doesn't need a caption.