Soap on a Rope

Through magic Lawrence Needleman somehow welded soap to a lanyard. A brilliant idea, what his impetus one could only assume. It had to be a really penetrating experience. He was raped in a shower by George Clooney is what I'm getting at. Understand?

The Bane of Perverts Everywhere

NEVER leave home without it

Mcguiver here is of course exempt,

Just The Facts

  1. Soap on a Rope is alot like a cup in baseball
  2. Its really annoying till you need it
  3. When you need it DEAR GOD WHY WHY WHY

Soap on a Rope: A Modern Miracle

Now there are plenty of necessary evils of the world; dickhole corporations, that dickhole government, Bill Mahr, Glenn Beck, but the one that puts the most preassure on everybody is public showers. These are all necessary things. They either supply me with my redicoulously luxurious lifestyle, make sure that I'm protected from the various agressors, show me the dangers of being an insufferable dick, and when I feel the need to bathe myself with all 7 of my scantily clad attractive female "roommates" its my only option to go to the local tennis club for a couple drinks and an exhausting shower. Now I know what your thinking in all your little peabrain minds, well if you live in such luxoury then why not build a bigger shower. My question to you is, no one cares what you think and if i want to troll the locals for some hot wet fun why would you even argue about that you stupid little man. But therin lies the problem with public showers, ANYBODY can be there. Sometimes this is good, Cindy the hot waitress from the bar decided to freshen up last tuesday, other times, like with Earl the retireree, and Big Steve the overly freindly guy whose every-fricken place I go, its not so good. Either way the rope on a soap is a boon not only do you remove the option of exposing your self to attack or perhaps causing to many of the ladies to faint out of sheer desire, but you also have a formidable weapon at hand if too many of the guys get jealous of your chisled physique or if too many ladies become overwhelming.

Be Prepared

Its important not to underestimate being prepared. When entering a public shower be it voluntarily, like the local highschools, or involuntarily, like in prison because you were caught in the local highschools shower, there are a couple of useful tools. Now depending on the situation one could use a quality waterproof digital camera, I'd suggest the Pentax Optio W60, or a shank. But regardless of situation always,always carry soap on a rope. You see as any child knows soap, when wet, is extremely slippery and can easily be dropped, and as any convict knows bending over whilst naked can be a very bad bad thing. Hence, soap on a rope, perfect for safely securing your preferred cleanser to your body. Of course this is cracked so the odds of anyone here showering are just under the odds of navigating through a asteroid field successfully. So far I've covered highschools, prisons, and recreational showers. I'll leave out work showers for firefighters and such because of the amount of times i accidently "commit arsony" and how they do save lives and have "real jobs" and don't "spend 9 hours browsing the internet". But gym showers do not get a free pass. Listen anybody who doesnt have time to go work out then catch a shower in the the privacy of there own mansion should plan a better workout schedule or is clearly perverted and has serious emotional problems. Thats why I always carry my soap on a roap with me in the shower