Scribblenauts

Scribblenauts is a word/action/puzzle game for the Nintendo DS. If someone gave Ralph Wiggum a Green Lantern ring, Scribblenauts would be the tie-in video game.

Just The Facts

  1. Scibblenauts was created by 5th Cell Media. Sadly, if you listen closely, you can hear the distinct sound of no one giving a crap.
  2. In the game, you get to create anything you want (barring they're in the form of words) to solve a series of puzzles.
  3. Sadly, none of the puzzles require using the words "boner", "Optimus Prime", or "Optimus Prime With a Boner".

Gameplay

God with a top hat riding a dragon: thanks to Scribblenauts, controlling your acid-induced dreams is now a possibility.

Scribblenauts does pose some limits to its summoning capabilities, but it more than makes up for it with HONEST ABE LINCOLN WITH A BAZOOKA (See section "What You Actually Do With Scribblenauts")

Scribblenauts makes use of basic word knowledge to fuel interactive gameplay. Practically everyone who has the vocabulary of a sixth-grader and possesses basic problem-solving skills can stand a chance of playing this game.

'Goo goo ga'? You are so screwed, infant.

The player controls a character named Maxwell, a hybrid spaceman/Hobbit who continually squanders the use of his masculine name by partaking in ludicrous activities, like catching butterflies using a jetpack, matching a rooster hat with green shorts, and using his powers to help those in need.

Look at him, being a benefactor to society. Asshole.

Maxwell uses a magical/mystical/future-tech notepad, given to him by a genie/God/Vampire/Doc Brown (depending on which retcon you want to believe in). The player can summon a veritable arensal of objects: more than twenty thousand, to be exact. The only thing more awe-inducing than Scribblenaut's 22802-word capacity is the fact that someone took the enormous amounts of time needed to research, list down, and confirm Scribblenaut's 22802-word capacity.


Shine on, you crazy diamond.

What You Can Do With Scribblenauts

According to the game's tagline, "Write Anything, Solve Anything," players are encouraged to coordinate their wordpower with gaming ability to solve a series of challenges. This promise has not been kept, as evidenced by attempting to type in the words 'boobies' or 'saberboner.'

Why do you lie, Scribblenauts Lead Designer Jeremiah Slackza? Why do you lie to us?

Puzzle Challenges

Puzzle Challenges encourage mental activity by presenting situations where you have determine which items to use to complete the game. Puzzle Challenges continue to increase in difficulty until you unlock the real challenge: Trying Not to Throw Your DS After Thirty Times of Repeating the Same Level.

This Puzzle Challenge wreck took twenty minutes of meticulous planning.

Action Challenges

Most action puzzles involve switches, levers, buttons, items to be collected, and the occasional child endangerment - which to be honest is featured in practically 75% of the Action Challenge levels.

Throughout the game, Maxwell retains his smile despite all the perils he faces. Because this shit happens all the fucking time.

Some of the Action Challenges feature Maxwell having to deal with, but not exclusive to: a grizzly bear; a polar bear; a bottomless cliff; a bee (never to be underestimated, as those with bee allergies would swear to); a platform full of metal spikes, a pit of lava, and a pool with matching shark.

...And it seems this is the shittiest kid's playroom ever.

This would have been understandable - nay, mild for a Batman or even an Indiana Jones DS game, because everyone knows Indiana Jones is going to above bizarre, mortal shit like grizzly bear attacks or lava pits.

The protagonist of Scribblenauts, however, is visually someone who probably just finished studying basic multiplication on his last school day, so if you don't want to see a ten-year old fall into lava again and again, this game probably isn't for you.

What You Actually Do With Scribblenauts

Despite the game's seemingly innocent goal of allowing imaginative solutions to tricky situational riddles, it appears that one of the main lessons players can learn from Scribblenauts is that a creative imagination can solve anything, particularly if it's in bazooka, freeze-gun, or missile form.

Cthulu + Lincoln + Bazookas = Creativity!

Because of the temptation of being able to summon anything you can think of, even the simplest tasks such as knocking down a carnival-style bottle pyramid end with repeated firings from Maxwell and His Trusty Rocket Launcher. Scibblenauts doesn't exactly make it easy for players to use reasonable modes of finishing its puzzles, as seen in this particular situation:

And the ensuing solutions:

...Plus about a dozen more levels like this. A protip: if you hear your children talking about "dropping orphanages into lava" in the context of a kid's game, it's probably time to hide that Nintendo DS.