Radiohead

Radiohead is an English alt-rock group. Radiohead is Thom Yorke, Phil Selway, the Greenwoods, and Ed O’brien. Thom is known for luring sailors to their deaths through song and yelling at children in the park for their poor monkey bar skills.

Hush, child. I am your mommy now.

Radiohead Action Patrol Extreme. (This is NOT an acronym. Seriously.)

Just The Facts

  1. Radiohead is an alternative rock group.
  2. Thom Yorke soothes savage beasts with his soft, melodic murmurs.
  3. It is believed that if someone ever hugged Thom, he would turn into a beautiful prince.
  4. Thom Yorke has a collection of paper dolls named after kids that bullied him in school. They are all made to wear frilly dresses.

Pablo Honey

Pablo Honey was Radiohead's first full-length commercial release and is most well known for not being well known at all. Creep is pretty much the only song on the entire CD that anyone knows. Seriously. In fact, why even bother having a section about Pablo Honey because no one gives a shit. Everyone wants to hear about Creep. You make me sick. Whenever someone makes a comment on Youtube about how Creep is the best song ever, a child in Africa doesn't get an education.
Why don't you just admit that you never listened to Pablo Honey. No one did. Grow a pair.
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The Bends

The Bends is Radiohead's second album but the first one that anyone genuinely cares about. (See above.) Arguably, the most well known song off of The Bends is "Fake Plastic Trees". Supposedly, after the band all went to see Jeff Buckley live, no doubt holding hands throughout the whole show, Thom Yorke went back to the studio and recorded the vocals in two takes before breaking into tears. We like to imagine that when the tears hit the ground they shattered into seven rainbow-colored jewels that scattered to the far ends of the Earth. When combined the rainbow fragments would create a beam of light that shot into the heavens and bring peace and love to all of mankind. However an equal but opposite set of negative rainbow tears are also rumored to exist, having been cried out by Chris Martin after realizing that Coldplay is a dumb name for a band and he would never write anything as good as OK Computer.

OK Computer

OK Computer is Radiohead's third CD and the last one they made that really made any sense. It was also only during the OK Computer years that people realized that despite the somewhat uplifting tone of some of the songs, the lyrics were usually more or less depressing as all hell. The CD contained Radiohead's longest recorded track, "Paranoid Android", which has been a favorite of hip young indie rockers, many of whom can talk for hours about how meaningful it is which is hilarious because the band intended it as a joke much like how God made my life a joke since the day I was born by giving me nipples that cover 70-80 percent of my chest. Other songs on the album include "Karma Police" based on an inside joke that members of Radiohead had with each other. Other Radiohead inside jokes include "Monsters Eating My Parents" and "Drowning Puppies" proving that Radiohead has a fucked up sense of humour. OK Computer was pretty much universally liked upon its release like most music about the soul-crushing nature of a world run by corporations and unfeeling computers including Bananaphone by popular children's entertainer Raffi . OK Computer is also widely regarded as the last Radiohead album intended to be listened to. (See Kid A)

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Kid A

Kid A, Radiohead's fourth CD experimented heavily with a more electronic sound. Johnny Greenwood has said about the album: "I see it like this: a voice into a microphone onto a tape, onto your CD, through your speakers is all as illusory and fake as any synthesizer - it doesn't put Thom in your front room - but one is perceived as 'real' the other, somehow 'unreal'... It was just freeing to discard the notion of acoustic sounds being truer." However, none of this makes up for the fact that "Kid A" is one of the most fucked up songs ever written. Thom Yorke explained that for Kid A, the focus of the tracks was rhythmically based as opposed to the melodic nature of their other CDs and roughly 90% of all CDs ever recorded.

Hail to the Thief-In Rainbows

For this section, I have merely included a link to an amusing video.

Comparisons to Coldplay

Many bands have tried to copy Radiohead's innovative style of music in an attempt to be popular with girls. One such band is Coldplay. I would like to take this time to say that Coldplay is an objectively terrible band which sucks and each of their mothers also suck. The main reason for this comparison is Chris Martin's similarly girly falsetto singing style and songs melodically similar to many tracks off of OK Computer. Notable Coldplay songs are "Clocks", "The Scientist", and "Yellow," all of which are nouns which is not a synonym for "ideas." Also, while Thom Yorke's lazy eye makes him both unique and endearing, Chris Martin's tooth gap and ugliness just make him look like a giant baby with a beard. Also, Chris Martin is Miley Cyrus' little bitch after Radiohead rejected her in this incident.