5 Types Of Customers Dreaded By Grocery Store Cashiers

Being a cashier is an extremely annoying and mind numbing job. You have to deal with hundreds of people a day who all think you're the human equivalent of a burning pile of feces. Anything that is wrong in their life is instantly your fault.

If I don't smile I will be forced to clean the toilets! How are you doing today?

Just The Facts

  1. The median expected salary for a typical Retail Cashier - Full Time in the United States is $20,716
  2. Cashiers spend all day handling hundreds of dollars, almost every transaction a cashier does in a day the total amount spent is more than the cashier will make for an entire day's work.
  3. Cashiers spend a majority of their day thinking of ways to hurt themselves so they can go on workman's comp

Nature's Bitch

Who is this?

This customer believes that he or she is making a significant impact on the environment by using reusable bags instead of plastic, even though both options present negative effects on the environment. Nature's bitch will not opt for the default plastic bag. Maybe they will be around to witness the effects of their eco-friendly choice or they just refuse to be normal.

These bags make me look more pompous!

Why they are hated

This customer is usually accompanied by a pompous attitude and will sometimes attempt to explain how plastic bags will doom our planet... as if you give a fuck. Groceries can be bagged in plastic faster and require less skills acquired through tetris. The entire process is delayed by having to hold open their reuseable and god forbid you must use a plastic bag if space runs out in their bags. The sooner you send this customer on their way, the sooner you can scan all of those damn coupons.

The Coupon Collector

Who is this?

This is that ass that shows up to the grocery store with what use to be a newspaper. They usually make multiple purchases of the same item or buy things they don't need just to save a few cents.

"Maybe I can use this Breyer's coupon to save $1 on 4 tubs of Edy's?"

"Maybe I can use this Breyer's coupon to save $1 on 4 tubs of Edy's?"

Why they are hated

Their shopping list is nearly identical to that of other coupon collectors and these guys sometimes fail to check the expiration date on their coupons. This becomes a problem when they refuse to accept the fact that expired coupons cannot be redeemed. This is impossible to explain to them. Some collectors are also illiterate and try to use coupons on the wrong items.

The Price is Right

Who is this?

This person apparently has not figured out the concept of the price tags or those scanners things that are located throughout the store. They only want said product if it falls under an arbitrary number in their head.

Because reading the tags is just too much thinking.

Why they are hated

These people need every item in their cart to be price checked before they will commit to buying it. And once it's checked they complain about the price. As if the cashier cares one way or another whether you purchase a sweater or not. Making minimum wage tends to make a person not give a flying fuck about Ms. Stingy paying 15cents more for that bag of candy.

Nevermind I don't want this

Who is this?

After you price check the item and it is pennies more then they are willing to pay or you finally finishexplaining that the system won't accept their coupon that has been expired since 2005, this person decided that they no longer want this item.

Why they are hated

Who gets to put this item back, well it surely isn't them, and assuming the item is a product that needs refrigerated the item needs to be written off and thrown away. And whose fault is this? Yours, the cashier, because you control the prices of all the items in the store and you have the ability to change expiration dates at will.

What's Math